“If I’m not mistaken, I think I hear the wind crying.”
He caught me. My husband and I were taking a walk together on the beach, except that I was the only one doing the walking; He spoke from the other side of the phone back home. Through the line, above the roar of the wind and waves, he heard my tears.
It was the third time in three days that a conversation tugged at my heart and released the valve to my tears, each time catching me off-guard.
I really hadn’t felt sad or down, but I had come to the beach, my peaceful place, in search of answers from the Lord. Life had taken a fast unexpected curve, tossing me back and forth with uncertainty, and I needed time to seek out His direction.
He had been beckoning me to trust Him more.
But I did, I protested.
I trusted Him to be faithful to answer my prayers for the many I have committed to regularly pray for. “That’s good,” He said.
I trusted Him to answer the prayers of others uttered on my behalf. “Mmm hmm,” He replied.
“And?” I heard in my heart.
“And, what?” I retorted to the Lord.
“But do you trust me to answer your prayers for yourself? In fact, do you trust me enough to ask for what’s on your heart? I’ve promised you in my word that I will do MORE than anything you could DARE to ASK or imagine. But I’m waiting for you to ask.”
He got me. He knew my heart and He wanted me to see it too.
In turbulent times, if we do not guard our thoughts, we are open prey for an enemy who lies to the weakest parts of our being, convincing us that his lies are true. I had fallen for it, and with it came doubts and questions.
Faced with significant life changes, it seemed I was questioning everything lately. How had life gotten to this point? Should I have seen it coming? Was there something I was supposed to do to prevent it? Was it a reflection of God’s displeasure with me? Had I misunderstood His purpose, plan, and call for my life? Why was I such a slow learner? Was God unhappy with my spiritual progress?
Battered in every major area of my life at once, I had grown weary of paddling. I felt like I was stranded on an island with the occasional passerby who threw out a life-saver too flimsy to carry the weight of my burdens.
“Trust me” was what I heard Him beckoning from every direction. “Don’t look to the left or to the right. Don’t look behind or in front. Look above to me and trust.”
I whispered a reply through my tears. “But Lord, what does that look like? That’s another intangible (the Lord and I frequently have conversations about the “intangibles” like faith, joy, peace, rest, and yes, trust). What does that look like? How do I do that? Please help my unbelief.”
God was not angered or intimidated by my questions. He delights in open dialogue.
Even when it hurts, even when it falls apart, I can trust Him. I can run to Him and find refuge in His arms.
I would be ok. I wasn’t going through this alone. I’m not alone. He will go before me. He will never leave me…I am not alone. The words of that familiar song played softly in the background, but loud enough for my heart to receive the message.
Two scriptures came to mind: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33 NLT) and “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).
And so began my search to better understand trusting God: why we should, what’s involved, what’s required when we do, and more. Trusting God will be my focus for the next 31 days. If you’d like a glimpse into what the Lord has revealed, I invite you along on this journey.
Because of Him, Hope Prevails!
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