Have you ever thought about the fact that God wants to give you good things? Do you ever question His goodness? Like when your prayer isn’t answered the way you had hoped, or the job didn’t come through that you desired, or when a friend leaves your life?
If you follow any of my social media posts, you probably know that I am a bit of an animal lover—especially small dogs. We have a new family member within the past few months: a four pound, two and a half year old Pomeranian, we have affectionately named Selah. She has stolen not only my heart but that of many who have met her…
Do you ever wonder how your efforts for today will pay off tomorrow? Do you ever wonder whether or not what you are doing now will make any impact? Or how to know if what you are doing is the right thing or right way?
I live in a household of runners. My husband was a runner in high school, and still enjoys running for exercise. His father used to run in college. My oldest son ran on the cross country and track teams in high school. Now my youngest son runs on those same teams.
I was recently at one of his track meets and God met me there.
I recently traveled to the west coast to record a video-promo for the 2018 Women of Joy conferences, preach at a church, and then record a tv interview. One of my favorite places in all the world is the beach. After completing my scheduled work, a friend treated me to a couple hours at a pier overlooking the ocean and beach. That is where my soul finds peace.
As I stood up on the pier, I had the delight of watching surfers in the way-too-cold water sizing up the waves to glide in toward shore…
“Mom? I’m really nervous about this exam.”
“A little nervousness is okay…it prompts you to prepare, to study, to do your due diligence.”
He went on to explain, “I just found out about this exam today. This is more than a little nervous, Mom. I’m jittery, jumping out of my skin, nauseous, and I can’t think clearly. It’s almost like I’m panicking. I’m just overwhelmed by it all.”
“You’re right Hon, that’s more than just a little nervousness. That’s a spirit of fear yelling at you.”
“So what do I do about it?”
“What made you finally come in?” my doctor asked with eyes of compassion before glancing down at my chart. “It had gone on long enough and I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I had tried everything I knew to do and it wasn’t enough,” I replied, wondering if I was going to get a brow beating for waiting so long before seeking medical attention. Even as I said it, I thought about how often I’m like that with God: trying to do things on my own before ultimately turning to Him for help when nothing I do makes the situation any better. There is a reason God warns us not to depend on our own understanding—He knows better than we do.
He looked tenderly in my eyes, glanced back at the monitor willing it to sound the usual comforting rhythmic beat before looking back at me and gently alerting me to the new reality of my condition. “I hate to tell you this, but the baby no longer has a heartbeat.”
“What?! No!!” I looked at the doctor and then at my husband who was standing next to the table I was on. We both looked at the monitor and then the doctor in disbelief. “There must be a mistake. Look again,” I begged as tears began to roll down my cheeks.