My plans were foiled. My productivity tanked – all the plans I had for tasks to be achieved dissolved into the bed sheet like the dew beads from my fever.
One day rolled into two without much concern. But by the end of a week of illness which worsened by the day, not only had my health deteriorated, but my spirits as well. My frustration peeked as pain throbbed and tears spilled from my eyes.
My mind filled with self-defeating thoughts:
- I felt like a failure.
- I wasted a week and had nothing to show for it.
- Another week of my life was gone that I’ll never have again.
- Another week gone and no closer to completing my project by deadline.
The thought that concerned me most? You’ve been through this and clearly you didn’t learn your lesson!
The lesson I feared I hadn’t learned? To listen to my body, rest when it needed it, and trust God to redeem the time.
Several years ago I became frightfully ill. I had pushed my body to the limit and not heeded the warnings that it needed a rest until it spiraled downward leaving me with no choice but to rest and recover.
This time I could accept a day or two of being side-lined, and even tried to give in to the doctor’s recommendation to rest. The difficult part was accepting that I was not in control, and tasks were not getting completed that I had planned on finishing.
As I cried out to God in my tears, my chest heaved in pain as I came to the revelation that in ourselves we can do nothing of worth anyway. It was time to release the death grip of control on my schedule, on my plans and surrender to His better way.
What do you need to release to God today?
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