10 Things I Wish I Knew 10 Years Ago – Episode 361

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Episode Summary:

What if you could go back 10 years? Have you ever wished you could go back ten years and whisper something life-changing to your younger self? In this week’s episode of Your Hope Filled Perspective podcast, in recognition of my birthday this week, we’re diving into the 10 powerful truths I wish I had known a decade ago—biblical insights, neuroscience-backed wisdom, and lessons God taught me through some of the hardest seasons of my life.

If you have ever wrestled with self-doubt, carried the weight of other people’s expectations, feared what others think, or wondered whether God was really working behind the scenes, this episode will speak straight to your heart we are going to talk about rest, resilience, purpose, identity, joy, boundaries, emotional freedom, and how God faithfully redeems every part of our story. If you want to encouragement, clarity, or a fresh start anchored in scripture and science you’re in the right place.

Quotables from the episode:

Wisdom, peace, and emotional freedom you’ve been craving are closer than you think. In this episode of your hope-filled perspective, I’m sharing 10 life changing lessons I wish I had known 10 years ago–truths grounded in scripture and supported by neuroscience that can transform your mental health, relationships, and spiritual resilience. We will explore the lies that steal our peace, the fears that hold us back, the pressure to please people, the exhaustion that comes from over-functioning, and the joy that’s available long before our circumstances change.

Whether you’re seeking hope, healing, clarity, or a renewed sense of purpose, you will find practical, faith-filled insights that invite you into deeper rest and greater freedom. If you need a reminder that God is working, that you are not alone, and that your story still holds beauty and purpose, you will not want to miss this episode!

Because this week is my birthday week, I’ve been reflecting—looking back over my shoulder at where God has brought me, and looking ahead with renewed hope. Birthdays have a way of inviting that kind of reflection, don’t they?

So today, I want to share something personal with you: Ten things I wish I had known ten years ago.
These are truths shaped by Scripture, refined in hardship, confirmed by neuroscience, and held tenderly by grace.

The 10 Things I Wish I Had Known 10 Years Ago

1. I Wish I Had Known God Was Not Disappointed in Me
Ten years ago, I lived like God was grading me—observing every misstep. I knew better theologically, but emotionally, I still tried to “earn” His delight.
But God does not love reluctantly. He delights in His children.

Neuroscience shows that chronic self-criticism activates the same neural circuits as physical pain. Grace, on the other hand, calms the fear centers of the brain.

If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be this: “Breathe. God is not disappointed in you.”

2. I Wish I Had Known Rest Wasn’t Something to Earn
Rest felt indulgent ten years ago. Optional. A reward after productivity.

But neurologically, rest is where healing happens. Emotionally, rest is where perspective forms. Spiritually, rest is where trust grows.

Rest is not a reward for finishing the work, it’s part of the process of work.
Rest is not a luxury. Rest is obedience.

I wish I’d known earlier that rest is not weakness. It’s worship.

3. I Wish I Had Known Hardship Would Become Holy Ground
When I think back over the last decade—the pain, the losses, the unmet expectations—I would never have chosen some of those paths.

But neuroscience tells us adversity, when processed with truth and support, creates stronger neural pathways of resilience.

Scripture tells us that God works all things together for good.

If only I’d known then that hardship is never wasted. It might have spared me some fear, some panic, some sleepless nights, and instead renewed my peace, fostered perseverance, and encouraged my faith and expectation of what God would do.

4. I Wish I Had Known I Didn’t Need to Prove Myself to Anyone
Ten years ago, I expended far too much energy trying to be understood, appreciated, valued, found worthy, and declared to be enough. But the approval of others is fleeting. It can shift with mood, season, or misunderstanding.

Trying to live for the approval of people rewires the brain to depend on external validation.

But living from God’s approval rewires us for peace.

If I could whisper to that younger woman: “You are already approved.”

5. I Wish I Had Known Joy Wasn’t Something I Had to Wait For
Back then, joy felt like a future destination—something I’d reach once life “settled down.”

But joy is not circumstantial. Joy is relational. Joy is the awareness of God’s presence with us.

And neuroscience affirms that joy is tied to relational delight—not perfection.

I wish I had embraced joy in the middle of imperfect seasons instead of waiting for the “right moment” to feel joy.

6. I Wish I Had Known People Aren’t Thinking About Us Nearly as Much as We Fear They Are
Oh, the energy I spent worrying about others’ opinions…
What they might think.
What they might misunderstand.
What they might assume.

But here’s the truth—confirmed both by psychology and by experience:
People are far more occupied with their own lives, worries, and insecurities than they are with ours.

Our brains are wired with a “spotlight effect”—a tendency to believe others are watching or judging us far more than they actually are.

I wish I had known sooner:
“They’re not thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are.”

It would have freed up so much mental real estate.

7. I Wish I Had Known Saying “No” Was Sometimes the Most Loving Thing
Ten years ago, my “yes” came too easily—often at the expense of rest, peace, and even obedience to God. Saying “no” felt like disappointing others, failing to serve, or shrinking back.

But here’s what I know now:
Every “yes” is also a “no” to something else. And sometimes the greatest act of love—both for yourself and the people counting on you—is to honor your limits.

Boundaries don’t push people away. Boundaries make healthy connection possible.
I wish I had known that earlier.

8. I Wish I Had Known I Didn’t Have to Carry Everything Alone
In the last decade, I’ve walked through seasons that felt heavier than I knew how to bear. Back then, I believed I had to be strong. I believed I should handle things myself. I believed vulnerability was something to hide.

But isolation amplifies emotional pain. Neuroscience shows that connection reduces stress hormones, stabilizes mood, and helps us process adversity. And Scripture tells us to bear one another’s burdens.

If I could revisit my younger self, I’d tell her: “You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. Let others in.”

9. I Wish I Had Known God Was Working Even When I Couldn’t See It
Ten years ago, there were prayers I thought God had forgotten. Dreams I had buried. Doors that remained shut. Seasons when progress felt invisible. But now I can look back with clarity and say:

God was working all along. Silently. Slowly. Faithfully.

And neuroscience teaches us that change often happens beneath the surface long before it becomes visible—much like how faith develops.

I wish I had trusted the unseen work sooner.

10. I Wish I Had Known Gratitude Would Change My Life
Gratitude felt like a “nice idea” a decade ago—something good Christians do. But I didn’t understand its power.

Neuroscience tells us that gratitude:
• strengthens the prefrontal cortex
• calms the amygdala
• increases dopamine and serotonin
• rewires the brain toward hope

Spiritually, gratitude aligns our hearts with the truth of who God is and what He has already done.

I wish I had known earlier that gratitude wasn’t a reaction to blessings—it was a pathway to experiencing them.

What I Know Now — And What I Want You To Know Too

Looking back over this past decade, here’s what I know now:

  • God is not disappointed in you.
  • Rest is required, not earned.
  • Hardship becomes holy ground.
  • You don’t need to prove yourself.
  • Joy is available today.
  • People think about you far less than you fear.
  • “No” is sometimes the most loving answer.
  • You don’t have to carry life alone.
  • God is working even when you can’t see it.
  • Gratitude transforms everything.

And overarching all of it: You are loved. You are seen. You are held. And God is far more faithful than you have yet discovered.

Let me encourage you to do something today:
Take five minutes.
Ask yourself: “What do I wish I had known 10 years ago?”
Write it down. Pray over it. And maybe—share it with someone who needs the wisdom you’ve earned.

 

Recommended Resources: (If there are affiliate links in this post, meaning, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no extra cost to you)).

 

If you could go back 10 years, what would you tell yourself? In this episode, I share 10 truths shaped by Scripture, neuroscience, and some of life’s hardest seasons. Share on X What if some of the hardest seasons of your life were preparing you for wisdom you couldn’t see at the time? Join me for 10 truths I wish I had known sooner. Share on X

 

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Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson

 

 

What would you tell yourself if you could go back ten years? In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, I share ten truths I wish I had known sooner. Through biblical insights, neuroscience-backed wisdom, and lessons God taught me through some of the hardest seasons of my life, you will see how rest, boundaries, joy, and gratitude can reshape your mind and renew your faith. These reflections reveal how God quietly works beneath the surface, even when life feels uncertain.

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