This week while Dr. Bengtson is continuing to recover from a several week-long bout with pneumonia, her friend and author, Kristine Brown, will be answering a question based on her newly released book, “Over It. Conquering Comparison to Live Out God’s Plan.”
Question:
I enjoy social media, but it seems like everyone I see has a life that looks like a fairy tale, which leaves me feeling like the only person with issues. I know in my head this isn’t true, so how can I keep from feeling this way?
Answer:
1. Realize we are not alone in our struggles with comparison
The first thing to realize is that we are not alone in our struggles with comparison. I’m right there with you! The majority of women (and men as well) have heard the voice of comparison at some point in our lives. There are practical steps we can take to quiet that voice and enjoy interactions with friends and loved-ones through social media.
2. Make a plan
Once we understand the struggle is real, we can then make a plan. A good plan begins with identifying our triggers. When we feel our mood change from positive to negative, that’s a great time to take a break from our phones or devices. Even better, consider setting limits on the time you spend there. We want our time on social media to be just that – social. It should encourage us and strengthen our relationships. If we sense self-doubt starting to set in, let’s give ourselves permission to take a break.
3. Keep a right perspective by praying for others
Next, we can keep our perspective in the right place by praying for others. Instead of listening to the pesky voice that tells us to compare ourselves to our friends, let’s pray for them when we see their posts. In reality, the majority of people only post the high-points of life. Knowing this, we can keep proper perspective as we scroll through pictures. Offering up a short prayer for the people in our newsfeed will help shield us from doubt-filled thoughts. We have no idea what battles they may be facing, and our prayers may be just what they need.
4. Give yourself grace
Lastly, let’s give ourselves grace today. Taking steps toward conquering comparison is a daily discipline, not an overnight fix. God’s Word says this about us:
“Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir” (Galatians 4:7 NLT).
What an amazing promise! We can learn so much from God’s Word about this topic through other women in history who fell into the comparison trap but came out victorious. When we internalize the truth about who God says we are, we take one step closer to silencing the voice of comparison.
Do the thoughts I’ve shared resonate with you? Would you like to learn more? Then allow me to invite you on this journey with me.
Every struggle, discovery, and lesson-learned is recorded in this book, Over It. Conquering Comparison to Live Out God’s Plan.
I’m a practical girl, and I need easy-to-follow tips I can begin today. From the stories shared, I’ve uncovered steps we can all implement in our daily lives. These steps will help us make real change – a change that help us to say, “I’m over it,” and mean it.
The Over It book releases today. I am so excited to share its message, I can hardly contain myself! If you’d like to learn more about the book, visit the book page here.
Would you like to join me in this adventure? Then let’s not wait another minute to begin. To purchase a copy and get started claiming victory over comparison in your own life, click here. I pray you will gain the tools to help you let go of comparing and live out the unique plan God created just for you.
Kristine Brown is a writer, dramatist, and teacher. She helps women and teen girls navigate the ups and downs of real-life. Kristine devotes her time to family, freelance writing, and her non-profit ministry, More Than Yourself, Inc. You can read more from her at www.morethanyourself.com. Connect with Kristine on Twitter, Pinterest, and Facebook.
(If you have a question you’d like Dr. B to answer, contact her here now. Your name and identity will be kept confidential.)
Such great reminders and helpful tips that bring in our faith and how God can help us with this disease of comparison in our culture! I found you via the WholeHearted Wednesday link-up. Nice to “meet” you!
Thank you for the comment! I appreciate you stopping by. And yes, you are so right. God is our hope when comparison threatens. Blessings!
Give yourself grace, this one, yes this one has been my life saver. It has kept me in the blog world, kept me teaching women, kept me speaking for the Lord, kept me after countless mistakes , kept me from trying to fix others, kept me from, well the list goes on. Others tell me I am the hardest on myself. For years I wanted to be just like my kind, introverted, slow to speak, mellow husband. This Martha with at quick mouth and temper to go with it struggle so being a Martha. God began to teach me He created me that way while I was in my mothers womb and even if I try my hardest It would not change. Accepting that I went about learning how to be a Godly Martha and enjoy the life He gave me, even with it’s failures. This is a great post, one I could read every day just to remind myself, life is in Christ, not in others thinking of of me or even my thinking of me. He is my life, and He never compares me to any of His other children, now that will preach or teach or share, great post.
What a great list of steps to help! So glad we are neighbors – in a couple of corners today!
I especially love the idea of praying for those who start to tickle our comparison button! What a great idea :).
Thank you for these great tips. Comparison is the thief of joy is something I’ve often heard and try to remember.
Comparison is a deadly trap! We usually only see the ‘good’ when we compare. We don’t see what that person has been through and in most cases if not all, I bet none of us would want the ‘entire package’ if we knew what came along with that comparison. Thanks for linking up with Grace and Truth!