Are you looking for a few creative ideas to fan the flame on love? Showing appreciation to your spouse is key to unlocking romance. If you long to keep the spark and sizzle in your love life, Pam Farrel shares 20 ways to tangibly express appreciation and gratitude to your spouse.

I had the opportunity to talk with Pam Farrel, author of many books including Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti and Red Hot Monogamy on an episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective Podcast called How to Love Well in Marriage and Life – Episode 148. If you’ve ever struggled in marriage or have friends or loved ones who struggle or maybe you just want to learn better how to love-wise, you’ll want to tune in to the replay of this episode.

Appreciation: The Key to Unlocking Romance
By Pam Farrel

In our book, Red Hot Romance Tips for Women, we look at the 26 traits, A to Z, that make a wife more desirable to her husband. Because you are a wife who values love, or recognizes the significance of your man, you are looking for a few more creative ideas to fan the flame on love. You long to keep that spark and sizzle in your love life! In your heart is a desire to help your man feel like the luckiest, most blessed male on the face of the globe because he had the good sense to marry YOU!

You have a deep down desire to be the best wife, the best lover, the best friend for life, that a husband could ever discover. And you are among the elite because you take the time to SHOW you care and SAY you love your guy. Set aside the next 26 days and become a more loving wife and see if your change of heart sparks romance!

One of the basic components of a strong love is when a man feels appreciated, valued and esteemed. I (Pam) love the look in the eyes of those newlywed brides. They beam as they hang on the arm of their groom. That gleam in the eye and broad smile—that is appreciation! When he senses you feel you won the grand prize when you married him, his heart will definitely be drawn toward you and then your worth is like the upward trajectory of a positive stock market report—you become priceless!

The Bible encourages, “ . . .esteem them very highly in love . . .” (1 Thessalonians 5:13.) Esteem means to regard as particularly important; admire, approve, favor, treasure. Is that how you feel about your husband?

As a motivated wife, you have the honor of being the spark plug for your marriage, the igniter of romance and the match to light the flame of sex and intimacy.

20 Ways to Show Appreciation to your Man

Start with a little appreciation to fan the flame on love! Say thanks! Choose one of the ways below to tangibly express your gratitude to your man:

  1. Admire in a letter or with your verbal praise one of his good qualities
  2. Applaud his effort or an accomplishment
  3. Approve of his choice (of anything) heartily!
  4. Commend of him in front of his friends or colleagues
  5. Compliment one of his handsome features
  6. Positively inquire more information about one of his interests
  7. Accept one of his quirks with a quick hug or kiss when you see it
  8. Laud an accomplishment with a gift or a family party to celebrate.
  9. Warm toward an idea he has brought up by asking to learn more.
  10. Support one of his dreams by placing a photo of him doing it on your desk or refrigerator.
  11. Sympathize with an emotional hurt with a hug.
  12. Adore his body in the bedroom.
  13. Enthusiastically embrace one of his opinions with an “I so agree!”
  14. Show pleasure of his company with a “So nice to have you in my life”.
  15. Be sensitive to his stress by giving a shoulder or neck rub.
  16. Be mindful of one of his needs by running an errand or picking up an item without being asked.
  17. If you are ready- be responsive to one of advances for “red hot monogamy”.
  18. Order a coffee mug with “I thank God 4 U!” printed on it, then bring him breakfast in bed, complete with the coffee mug.
  19. Place a thank you note on a helium balloon and float it into his office.
  20. Make your own list, A to Z, why you are thankful for your man, then read it to him; give it to him, one letter at a time; create a photo book with pictures of him for each letter and each trait you find attractive; or write the list on the same kind of paper you sent the first love note on!

We’d love to hear ideas you have for how to show your spouse appreciation in the comments below. What are your favorite ways to express or receive appreciation?

About Pam Farrel

Pam Farrel, International Speaker and AuthorPam and Bill Farrel have been happily married for 40 years, are international speakers, authors of over 52 books including best-selling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, Red Hot Monogamy, 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make, Red Hot Romance Tips for Women and their newest: The Marriage Meet Up: A Planner for Couples Who Want a Productive, Passionate and Purposeful Life.

They are the Co-Directors of Love-Wise, and enjoy time with their three grown sons, 3 daughters in law, and 5 grandchildren. When they are not traveling for speaking, you will find them enjoying the beach, or on the ocean in their live aboard boat docked in Southern California.

Stay connected with Pam Farrel: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest / Twitter / Website


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Are you looking for a few creative ideas to fan the flame on love? If you long to keep the spark and sizzle in your love life, Pam Farrel shares today 20 ways to tangibly express appreciation to your spouse. Appreciation is the key to unlocking romance. #marriage #marriageadvice #marriagetips #romance