Some stories are almost beyond belief. On a recent episode of the Sacred Scar Story Series on Your Hope-Filled Perspective podcast, I had a conversation with Carole Leathem about her pastor husband who experienced some mental health issues, and the consequences they experienced individual and as a couple as a result (How to Cope with the Emotional Impact of Being a Mental Health Caregiver – Episode 286). Carole now has an amazing ministry to caregivers. So I asked her to share some hard-earned wisdom for caregivers.
Do This and Thrive: The most important thing you need to do as a caregiver
By Carole Leathem
Are you a caregiver?
Have you ever asked yourself, “What happened to my life?” “How am I going to get through this?” Or “Am I really strong enough to do this?”
You’re not alone!
I’m one of over 55 million people who care for a loved one in the United States, and I’ve asked myself these questions repeatedly over the last several years.
I’ve been caring for my husband who struggles with mental illness for almost a decade. I find myself overwhelmed when I stop to consider a long decade of intense caregiving.
The reason you feel exhausted.
In 2024, I also became the primary caregiver for my mom. Adding her care to the continuing care for my husband, and I found myself in caregiver overload. The medical community now has a name for this and calls it caregiver burnout. Over 60% of caregivers struggle with burnout.
Symptoms of caregiver burnout include:
- Deep fatigue
- Stress and overwhelm
- Withdrawing or isolation
- Anxiety and depression.
How to Cope.
Even with all the strategies I have developed to help me cope with the overload, I also must do the most important thing a caregiver can do. Step away for a moment and take a break!
You might be mentally rehearsing the reasons taking a break is impossible.
Here were some of my reasons for not taking a break:
- What if my husband needs me while I’m on a break?
- I don’t have anyone to take over, so I can take a break.
- It’s my responsibility to care for him 24/7.
- I’m afraid to leave him in case something happens.
- I do not know what taking a break looks like.
Don’t talk yourself out of taking a break, just do it. Only have a few minutes?
Take a mini vacation.
I was having a hard caretaking day, and I walked into my dining room frustrated, exhausted, and overwhelmed. My husband was struggling, we were both not sleeping, and I was starting to question if I could keep going. I was mad at God and asking, “Where the heck are you?”
As I stood in the middle of the room throwing an epic fit, my eye caught sight of a beautiful painting that hangs on the wall over my table.
The artist used my favorite colors when he painted a small cabin by a waterfall and stream. Planted along the stream are bright pink and purple tropical flowers. As I stopped and stared at the photo for a moment, I said out loud, “I wish I could be there right now, sitting on that porch with my coffee.”
I realized I was holding a cup of hot coffee in my hand, and I used my imagination to take a mini vacation. I turned the noise of a waterfall on my phone, stood in front of the painting, closed my eyes, sipped my coffee and imagined I was there on the front porch watching the waterfall and the stream.
As I stood there for a few minutes, I felt the stress lighten, my energy return, and my mood improve.
There are many ways to take a mini vacation. I regularly buy a bouquet of fresh flowers for my office and place them where I can see and smell them from my desk.
I encourage you to stop right now and take a break or at least decide what your next break or mini vacation will look like?
I’m challenging you to create a list of your own ways to take a break or a mini vacation. If your ideas are written down, then when you get a few minutes, you just pick one.
You can also join my email list at www.thecaretakersjourney.com and receive a download of one of my favorite spiritual mini vacations.
Why is this so important?
Studies have shown that taking a 5-minute purposeful break will refresh your mind and body. It will also increase your energy and ability to focus.
Here are a few of the benefits you receive from a 5-minute walk outside in the sun, barefoot on the grass.
- The fresh air helps you relax.
- Walking exercises your body.
- The sun boosts your immune system.
- Scenery changes your focus.
- A few minutes away will improve your mood.
Reset happens the moment you acknowledge you need it.
Finding things and people who make you laugh is another way to reset. Do you, like me, struggle with the guilt of laughing and having fun, even though our loved one can’t join in. It is extremely hard to be happy when someone you love is struggling.
Are you ready to reset?
When I think I can’t take a break, I look at a note stuck on my computer screen. The note reminds me why it is important to take a break. It reads, “You must take care of you, or you can’t care for someone else.”
What have you found helpful in a caregiving journey? We would love to hear in the comments below.
Wondering how you’ll get through this as a caregiver? You're not alone! Over 60% of caregivers experience burnout. Just taking just a 5-minute break can reset your mind & body. Read more for ways to prioritize self-care. Share on X Do This and Thrive: The Most Important Thing You Need to Do as a Caregiver Share on X
About Carole Leathem
Carole Leathem is a speaker, teacher, author, storyteller, podcaster, and encourager, and she has been speaking at women’s retreats and teaching Bible studies for over thirty years.
She is a certified mental health coach, professional life coach, and a spiritual formation coach.
Carole is passionate about sharing her story with those God puts in her life and loves spending time with her 7 grandchildren.
Connect with Carole here: Website / Podcast / Book / Instagram / Facebook
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