On Your Hope-Filled Perspective Podcast we’ve been doing an encouraging series called the Sacred Scar Story Series, with real people sharing about really painful trials they’ve endured, and how they’ve seen God redeem both their pain and their past. I recently chatted with Dawn Ward, who shared the pain of parenting a child struggling with addiction. She’s written extensively about it in her book From Guilt to Grace. I’ve asked her to share here about the promises of God that helped her most when her child struggled with addiction.
Ten Promises of God to Hold on to When Your Child Struggles with Addiction
by Dawn Ward
Is your heart hurting because your child struggles with addiction? Are you questioning your ability as a mother because you can’t help your son or daughter? Perhaps you are concerned you might collapse under the pressure of the stress you are experiencing. If so, I understand how much it hurts to be the mom of an addicted child. I can relate to how our past painful wounds affect how we parent our troubled children. My prayer is that by sharing my experiences and how I learned to cling to God’s promises, it will bring you hope and healing as well.
How Childhood Wounds Shaped My Need to Please
Growing up in an average middle-class home, my childhood was fairly normal, or so I thought. I was the oldest of three siblings, with hard-working, responsible parents. Compared to other kids in the neighborhood, as far as I was concerned, there was no difference between their families and mine. I soon learned; however, that not everyone’s father drank excessively and became loud, condescending, and argumentative when doing so.
Being the first-born child in a volatile home led to significant trauma in my life. In retrospect, I understand my father carried his own pain and trauma from the past into his adult life. This led to his drinking too much too often. My mother also experienced childhood trauma, and with the added stress in her marriage, became distant and angry towards us. Although I knew my parents loved me, it was hard to reconcile their words with how they treated me, my siblings, and each other.
Rather than accepting personal responsibility for their distress, arguments, and for my father’s drinking problem, my parents passed blame on their children and each other. As a child, I accepted their accusations as truth and believed if only I could act better and be better, they would be happy and not fight as much. Because of these false beliefs, I felt an overwhelming personal responsibility for making others happy and became a people-pleaser.
Where Is God When Your Child Struggles with Addiction?
I vowed when I grew up and had children of my own, with the Lord’s help, I wouldn’t make the same mistakes as my parents. While my family didn’t attend church, we would go to services regularly. I would teach my kids to love Jesus, carefully vet their friends and families, and warn them to stay away from substances of any kind.
Sadly, when my child started experimenting with drugs, all my feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame resurfaced. Although I didn’t abuse my son or expose him to substances, I blamed myself for not seeing trouble coming and preventing it from entering our home. At the very least, I should have been able to fix him and fix this mess.
Later, when his brother began abusing drugs, any pass I thought I had on self-condemnation flew straight out the window. This was on me. Whether it was the family genes, my own traumatic childhood, or poor mothering skills, it was my fault, and I was the one responsible for fixing it.
Over time, my old wounds resurfaced and collided with the new ones brought on by my child’s addiction. As the pain intensified, so did my feelings of hopelessness. Didn’t God see us? Didn’t He see my child? If so, didn’t He care?
How I Learned to Cling to God’s Promises
Because I carried false beliefs from my past into my present, I convinced myself that if I didn’t save my son, no one else would. I finally reached a point of complete brokenness. It was then my husband confronted me and said, “You’re going to worry yourself to death.”
Flippantly, I retaliated, “You’re right. You have permission to write that on my tombstone — “She Worried Herself to Death.”
Seemingly out of nowhere, Jesus caught my attention as He lovingly spoke to my heart, “No. I want it to say, ‘She trusted God.’”
At that precise moment, hope reignited in my spirit. Jesus had a better plan for my life than for it to be ruined by addiction. If I wanted my life to bear His imprint, not the unhealed wounds from my past or those I was yet to experience, I would need to trust Him. Trust Him with my pain, heartache, and broken dreams. Trust Him with His plans for my future and those of my children. Trust Him even if things didn’t work out as I hoped they would. To trust Him, I would first need to let go of the steering wheel of my life and move to the passenger’s seat, something way outside of my comfort zone. Although doing so wouldn’t be easy, I was willing to try.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV) tells us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight.”
While this journey has been long and painfully difficult, I have grown in faith because of it. The wounds I believed would never heal have transformed into sacred scars.
Here are ten promises from God to hold on to when your child struggles with addiction. May they bless you as they have me.
10 Promises of God for Parents of Children Struggling with Addiction
- The Lord sees you and cares about your pain. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 (ESV)
- The Lord is always with you. He will never leave you or forsake you (see Deuteronomy 31:6).
- The Lord promises rest for your weary soul. “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (ESV)
- The Lord’s plans for you are good. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)
- The Lord hears your prayers. “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.” Psalm 34:17 (ESV)
- The Lord will comfort you and heal your broken heart. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 ESV
- The Lord will give you peace as you trust in Him. “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3 (ESV)
- The Lord helps you pray when you are weak. “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Romans 8:26 (ESV)
- The Lord is pursuing your child. “What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.” Matthew 18:12-14 (ESV)
- The Lord will restore you. “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, establish you.” 1 Peter 5:10 (ESV)
Prayer for Parents of Addicted Children
Dear Lord Jesus,
We come to you as hurting parents. We are weary, wounded, and worn-out from trying to rescue our children from self-destruction. We pray for your healing and comfort in the midst of the deep pain and sorrow we are experiencing for our children. We ask you to replace our intense fear with incredible faith. Lord, we pray for perfect peace as we set our minds on you and trust in you (Is. 26:3). We thank you for the comfort and reassurance that comes from knowing you are relentlessly pursuing our wayward children. You are more than able to break their chains and set the prisoners free (Ps. 146:7-8). We thank you for being an ever-present help in our time of need. We praise you, Jesus.
Amen.
If you, too, have walked this path, we would love to hear what has helped you stay the course, in the comments below.
If your child is battling addiction and you’re carrying guilt, shame, or heartbreak—these 10 promises from God are for you. There is still hope. Share on X Parenting a child through addiction can feel like too much to bear. Here are 10 promises from God to anchor your heart in truth and peace. Share on X
About Dawn Ward:
Dawn Ward is a speaker, writer, and biblical life coach. She is the founder of The Faith to Flourish, a ministry equipping women to live transformed lives through inspiring teaching, mentoring, and biblical resources. Dawn also offers support and encouragement to women with addicted loved ones. She is married to Steve and mom to three adult children. Her book, From Guilt to Grace: Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of Addicted Children released in September 2024.
Connect with Dawn: Website / Instagram / Facebook
My son is, as I am writing this, heading to a detox facility in Seattle for alcohol addiction. He seized twice today. I’m in Colorado and am dealing with my oldest son here who is also an addict. He is on probation for a domestic situation due to alcohol and is not allowed to drink or do drugs. He is beyond drunk tonight and he was huffing the other night. He also has a coke addiction. He has a horrendous attitude, is disrespectful and self righteous. My daughter is also an alcoholic and is dependent on adderol. To be fair, I am an alcoholic but I am, by the grace of God, sober over 4 years now. My children were saved at an early age and had a relationship with the Lord until their early teens. Then the drugs and alcohol entered the picture. Please pray for my children and thank you for your message here and the prayer. God bless you and your ministry.
Father, I pray for Eileen and her children. Thank you for her sobriety over the past four years. Help her to maintain her resolve to live a life that relies on you rather than alcohol. I lift up her children to you. Thank you that they were saved at an early age. Woo them back to you and your best for their lives. Help them to realize the God-shaped hole in their lives that only you can fulfill! In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.
For praying to with that family.
My daughter has treatment resistant depression and is an alcoholic.Her alcoholism is a form of suicidal ideation. She has attempted suicide by alcohol 3 times in the past 2 months and was just released from a 5150 hold to another inpatient rehab. We got a call today that she is trying to leave AMA again. She has been in rehab, detox or sober living for a year and is in a vicious cycle. She has turned her back on God and my fear is she will die rejecting him.
Roni, I can only imagine the pain and torment you must feel. Let me pray for you.
Father, I lift up Roni and her daughter to you. Only you know what is going on in this young woman’s mind and heart. I ask you to guide her, lead her, convict her, encourage her by your spirit. I pray for freedom from the thoughts of death that plague her, and that by the power of your spirit, you would breathe fresh life in her and that she would live according to your truths. Comfort this grieving mother. Give her wisdom. Flood her with peace even when it doesn’t make sense. I ask all this because of, and in the name of Jesus, Amen.
I struggle and am the same. IWILL WORRY MYSELF TO DEATH OR BY HEARTATTACK! My son homeless addict,bipolar,skitzo type 2. Won’t sray in meds and I try so hard to help and save him for him just to be mean and verbal addusive to me. I don’t ever do enough for him. I blame myself all the time and it is taking a big toll on my health,mind and sleep.
Michelle,
I would encourage you to be careful what words you speak over yourself and your son. Saying you will worry yourself to death or by heart attack, preconditions your mind and your spirit for such things to happen. Instead, speak the truth of God’s word over yourself and your son.
With Hope,
Dr. Michelle
How does one maintain faith when there seems to be no hope? I know many mothers who’ve lost sons or daughters to overdose or suicide. Mothers do lose their children. The battle is real.
Is the tragic end to one’s child’s life God’s way of taking them Home? Of showing mercy? Yet it leaves a mother broken, empty, wondering why.
It’s very difficult to hold onto hope.
May,
You ask some very honest, very difficult questions. I wish I had concrete answers that could heal your pain. In truth, it’s hard to understand why God allows some things but not others. What I do know is that He cares very deeply for our children, and for us as their parents. He hurts when we hurt. I have to remember that God also experienced the death of His son. When I’ve been in those situations that don’t seem to have answers that satisfy my heart, I have to remember that my hope is in Him, and that in some way, in some time, He will work all things together for those who love him and are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28). I have to keep my hope in the unchanging character of God.
Father, please comfort May. Give her your understanding so that she won’t lean on her own. Help her to hold on to hope in you. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
Thank you for these beautiful verses from Gods word! I will cling to them every day! My son is an addict too, struggles with mental illness, he is homeless right now. My heart 💜 is broken. But God….🙏
Laurie,
You hit the nail on the head: But God! I can only imagine the pain you must feel as his mother. I pray that God will hold you close and grant you His wisdom and peace!
Hope Prevails,
Dr. Michelle
Please pray for me and my son I am 70 years old. He is 53 years old. I have put him in 14 rehabs actually it will be 16 rehabs if I count the first two when he first started, I have supported him financially through all of them and paid his bills up until now he has been very abusive. He as of yesterday walked out because I told him I was finished. I have to have my life and do some of the things I need to do. I have to learn to love me and give me some time in my life because I’m getting older and I go without everything to give to him I work five days a week 35 hours and he gets my whole check and I have to pay for everything and it’s still not good enough. I still get abused talk to like a dog and very controlled as the saddest thing I’ve ever had to go through in my lifewill stay clean when he gets out for a month to three months has been as long as six months one time or two he has stolen from me. He has very being very manipulative. Very selfish. Very self-centered will do things I also have a 51 year-old daughter and both of them are very mental my son and her and nothing I’ve ever done is good enough. They play games and very manipulating and I have given them both of them up at this point in my life. I don’t know if I’m right or wrong, but it comes a time that I can’t take no more. I can’t deal with this anymore. They have to learn to take care of themselves and figure this out. I’m gonna break the chains of this curse in his family and let them go and figure their life out and start living my life and keep serving God and keep praying hard for them and lay them in God‘s feet and not pick it back up anymore
Nancy, I’m so very sorry for the pain you and your family have endured. Addiction doesn’t just impact the one addicted…it impacts the rest of the family, friends, coworkers, etc. I can hear the pain in your words, and my heart goes out to you. I know it can be difficult to set boundaries, but at some point you won’t be here to support them any more, so they will have to get help and learn how to support themselves.
Father, I lift up Nancy and her adult children to you. Nancy needs Godly wisdom that only you can provide. I ask you to show her where and how to set boundaries and limits, how to appropriately care for herself, and how to rely on you to care for her children even better than she could. Father, I pray that by the power of your Holy Spirit, you would touch her son and daughter. Free them from the bondage they are influenced by, and set them on a new, healthy path. Give them strength and teach them to rely on you. Thank you, Father, for caring for us and our children, as a Good Father. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
I cry myself to sleep almost every night knowing we couldn’t save our daughter from alcoholism. For now half her life we’ve tried to support, gotten angry, lived & then finally had to tell her she could no longer live with us. We tried since she was 16 with multiple dui’s, 6 totaled cars, failed relationships, a suicide attempt, multiple stays in recovery centers, hospital stays in psych units, cops at our home, loss of job due to alcohol use on the job, the lies, the emotional abuse, etc. The courts failed her, I feel we failed her by allowing this for so long. She has been in another state for almost 2 years with still laying guilt tgat we don’t care. This has broken our family beyond words. We feel guilty that we couldn’t do what any parent wants & thats to protect your children. She has distanced herself. My only hope is that she has found God (thru a social media account I found). My prayer is she finds a way out of the cycle of addiction,knows her family cares, begins to understand why we had to detach & finds her way back & our family begins to heal. Our hearts are broken.
Kathryn,
I can feel the heartache in your words. Yes, as parents, we want to protect our children. I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve endured and now on top of that that she has distanced herself. As a mother, I know that is incredibly painful. I hope you’re able to take comfort from knowing God cares even more about her, and about you!
With Compassion and Hope,
Dr. Michelle
I lost my youngest brother to addiction, and now Im afraid to lose my youngest child 22 too, he’s struggling with alcohol addiction he was in rehab for 10 months and went back to college, workings out and he relapsed after 2.5 months, the most heartbreaking part is he has grown apart from God, and his alcohol consumption before rehab was so scary because was death-intentional. I feel wary, weak, and anxious, these promises are just what I needed to hear today! Thank you
Ica,
I can only imagine the pain you have suffered watching your youngest brother and your youngest child in their struggles. That’s a heavy weight to carry.
Father, I pray for Ica, that you would give her wisdom, strength, guidance, and encouragement as she battles in prayer for her son. Father, I know that you care for her son even more than she does as his mother. I pray that you will speak truth to his mind and heart. That you will bring Godly friends and mentors around him to show him a better way. That you would reveal to him that you came for him to have an abundant life that can never be found in alcohol. Keep him safe, Lord. In Jesus’s name, I pray, Amen.