I recently had an enlightening discussion with Paul Gaumer on an episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective podcast about Christians’ mental health, including the stigma faced by those with mental illness. In my own practice, I’ve worked with thousands of patients who endured mental health issues, and unfortunately witnessed some of the greatest shaming come from other Christians. In this post, Paul shares from his experience as a Christian living with Bipolar Disorder.
Be sure to read to the end for a book giveaway!
(If there are affiliate links in this post, meaning, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no extra cost to you)).
Thy Rod and Thy Staff; They Comfort Me: A Christian Perspective of Living with Bipolar Disorder
by Paul Gaumer
I must preface this article by stating that I am not a theologian. I’m not an MD or trained mental health professional. I’m just a guy who LOVES the Lord and lives with a mental illness, bipolar disorder (BP). What can go wrong, right?!? With that said, when you think of bipolar disorder, what first comes to mind? Someone that’s crazy? Someone scary? Unpredictable? Unstable? Or E – All of The Above? If you aren’t familiar with the effects of BP, you are not alone. Now, when you think of a Christian that lives with BP, what comes to mind? God will take it all away? Do you need to pray more? You don’t go to church enough? You aren’t around enough like-minded people? Or E – All of The Above?
Mental health stigma is real
The stigma of mental health in the Christian community is real and it isn’t addressed enough. I read a statistic one time that said that 68% of pastors that were polled said that they would not base a sermon around mental health with their congregation because they were afraid that it would open a “Pandora’s Box” and that they wouldn’t have the resources to deal with the potential flood of needs. I get it. As someone who lives with a mental illness, I completely understand the lack of mental health resources in America today but that is another story for a different time.
As a Christian who lives with a mental illness, the need is even greater. A lot of the mental health resources available to me are not like-minded people. Hence, the unwillingness of Christians to come out of the shadows and discuss their struggles. In 2019, God laid a journey on my heart. A journey that would include every intimate detail of my daily walk with Him and the voices of the demons that governed my mind, at times. God asked me to put my life into a book to share with other Christians so that they know they are not alone in their struggles. To show them the Light that was guiding my path and that it’s okay to be a Christian and still not be okay. Now, as I questioned God on why He wanted ME to be His vessel, He reminded me of the faithfulness that Abraham showed to Him over and over again. There was a reason why He chose me and that should be good enough. But as a guy, I’m supposed to be the strength of my family, and putting my vulnerability on paper was a pretty scary proposition. But I stayed faithful and God lead my journey with the compassionate love and direction that only He can provide.
3 things to consider to walk in the light
If I could give you 3 things to consider as you wrestle with staying in the shadows or coming into the Light, it would be this:
1. God is ever faithful
God can feel SO far away at times. God promises so many times in the Bible that He will never leave you. But, when you are in the throws of a mental health crisis, it’s very hard to remember that. I have found that the more time that I spend in the Word during my “normal” times, the easier it is to remember that God is ever-present during rough times. God made you perfect in His eyes. You are His child and He is your Father. And just like any parent/child relationship, there are going to be challenging times along the way. But, as a parent, at no time would I turn my back on my child just because they aren’t present in my life every second. God understands that there are times when you aren’t fully focused on Him but He is there fully focused on you–right beside you waiting for you to come to visit Him. My goal is to visit Him as much as I can during the good times and the bad but if there are days when I just need my time, He reminds me of Psalms 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God… and as the Psalm tells us, He will be exalted in the end.
2. What you are feeling is real
Don’t let anyone dismiss what you are feeling as a “phase”. Don’t let someone tell you that you just need to pray more or that you need to just spend more time with like-minded people and all will be okay. Prayer is critical in my daily life as I maneuver the daily struggles of what is real or not but God also created physicians, Neuropsychologists, like Dr. Bengtson, and really good medications to help you through the trials. This, combined with prayer and God’s protection, is why I am here writing this post today. Without medical intervention along with my daily walk with God, I truly believe that thoughts of self-harm would have been louder than my thoughts of self-preservation. The first step is to talk to someone which leads me to my 3rd and final point.
3. Find your earthly person
Discussing mental health struggles are scary. I get scared a lot when I talk to groups about my book and the fact that my whole life is out there for the world to read. Whether you are suffering from seasonal depression or full-blown bipolar mania, some, if not all, of the symptoms seem irrational to others who are not informed or engaged in understanding mental health. I felt God leading me to discuss my story so that others know that it’s okay to not be okay, even as a Christian. But my path wasn’t always roses and rainbows as I encountered people along the way who felt that if I just had more faith in God, all my troubles would go away. I had to find that one person whom I knew would listen, without judgment, and would still love me in the end. I like to ask a question to the audiences that I speak with; If you were arrested (hopefully wrongly arrested!) and taken to jail, who would you make your one phone call to? Who is that one person that no matter how embarrassed or scared you feel, would come to you unconditionally? They would drop everything to help you. Well, that is your earthly person.
Your earthly person is whom you need to start your discussion with when you are feeling ashamed, scared, or embarrassed about thoughts or feelings that you may be having. They will listen and love you no matter what. Keeping your thoughts and feelings bottled up can be extremely detrimental to your mental and physical well-being. It’s really frightening to take the initial step of telling someone what you are feeling. God placed your person on this earth knowing that this conversation will happen long before either of you was born. You need to trust God that the earthly person that He chose for you is going to help you take your first step out of the shadows and into the Light.
Allowing God’s light to shine in the darkness
As a Christian living with a mental disorder, it wasn’t all that long ago before I thought that I had nowhere to turn but to God. Don’t get me wrong; that’s a really good place to turn but God also lead me to my earthly person, my wife Jeanine. I was initially afraid of any judgment, ridicule, and shame that may be placed on me or my family if I brought my struggles out into the open. But you know what? I have far more loving, understanding, and supporting people in my life than not. Had God not reached out to me to be His vessel to begin breaking down the stigma of mental health in the Christian community, my story would have stayed hidden with my family.
But I quickly learned that putting my faith in the fact that this journey is truly God-led allowed me to let other Christians know that they are not alone in their thoughts and feelings. I broke down my own walls because God gave me the strength to start talking about it and getting the help that I desperately needed. He loves you. He protects you. He guides you. He made you. You are perfect in His eyes. Allow the Light to shine in your darkness, follow the Light into the open, and collectively we can destroy the stigma of mental health in the Christian community.
What are your thoughts about how we can tear down the wall of stigma with respect to Christians and mental health issues? We’d love to hear in the comments below.
About Paul Gaumer
Being a Christian and living with a mental illness is a confusing, frustrating, and emotionally draining daily journey that asks the question, why me Lord? When the demons have a stronghold on your life, God can seem so far away. Paul Gaumer lives with these challenges each day and brings insight into how he continues to focus on God while living with the daily. Struggles of Bipolar Disorder. Paul has written a book, A Walk With the Light in the Shadows, that details his daily journey with the Lord while living with the effects of bipolar disorder.
Connect with Paul: Website / Facebook
Book Giveaway
In conjunction with this post and the podcast interview, Paul is giving away a free copy of his book, A Walk With the Light in the Shadows.
Leave a comment below sharing with us one thing you learned about ending the stigma surrounding mental health in the Christian community and you will be entered into the contest for your chance to win a copy of her book.
You could also share this blog post on Facebook, Pinterest, or Twitter then comment here to tell us where you shared it and you’ll also be entered into the drawing.
The winner will be selected at random and announced next Monday, July 3, 2023. Continental United States only.
So glad there a rsource.like this. I.have a good.friend who is walking this journey of bipolar disorder. We need more people in the church to recognize the need for support for those with mental disorders. Thanks for sharing your story.
Bonnie, you are so right, we do need more people sharing their story. I’m honored Paul shared his story here and on our podcast. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Hope Prevails, DrB
Thank you for the kind words, Bonnie. I can’t count the number of people who have approached me after a church service to discuss their struggles in full confidentiality. It’s really sad that they don’t feel comfortable coming out the the shadows to be able to discuss their challenges. My hope, my wish, my prayer is that one person reads the book and starts the conversation with their earthly person.
Thank you for reading the article, Bonnie. My hope, my wish, and my prayer is that one person reads the book or the wonderful books/articles that Dr. Michelle has and is able to walk out of the shadows and begin their earthly discussion with someone they trust. I have lost count of the number of people in my home church, and all the people at my speaking engagements, that tell me their story but are afraid to be judged. May His Light Shine Brightly In Your Life – Paul
Great read on living with mental health issues as a Christian. Bipolar, depression, anxiety, really any struggle with mental health is hard enough, but then add the struggle of your own (and other) ideas of what a Christian should look like and it’s even worse. Shared this one on Facebook, because several of us struggle with this.
Brian, thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment, and share. You’re right, many struggle with this. That’s why I wrote my book, “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” and why Paul wrote his book. If enough of us speak out, we’ll give valuable resources to those who need it, all to God’s glory. Hope Prevails, DrB
I would love to be entered into the contest to win Paul’s book and Monday is my birthday so it would be a great present!! I really enjoyed this article and have been struggling with depression myself lately. What I learned is that my feelings are real and I need to reach out to my earthly person for some strength and stability. I know God is with me, I never doubt that but sometimes you need an earthly touch.
Thank you for sharing your life Paul!
Julie
Julie, Happy Birthday!! I’m sorry to hear of your struggle with depression. I’ve walked that road. You might benefit from my book, “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” and the “Hope Prevails Bible Study.” You are so right that God is with you, but I agree that sometimes we do need an earthly touch. Glad you have folks you can reach out to. Hope Prevails, Dr.B
If you or your loved one is struggling emotionally,it is not shameful to get help.Finding the right medication can help bring balance and peace into family relationships.After years of struggling,it was a huge Blessing to get my sweet mother back.
Arlene, I would be the first one to agree with you that it is NOT shameful to get help. the Bible even tells us that the wise counsel of others is a good thing. Glad to hear you got your mother back! Blessings, DrB
My daughter has bipolar and schizophrenia so she suffers from one or the other or both at the same time. She is a believer but struggles with why God doesn’t heal her. Now that I am nearly 80, she lives in a nursing home with others with mental illnesses. This book may give her some comfort.
Karen, my new book that is releasing August 1, available for pre-order now, The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms addresses that question and hopefully offers the reader hope. That might be an encouraging read for her. Hope Prevails, DrB
I have read Paul Gaumer’s book and heard him speak! He has been extremely helpful in opening my eyes to the very real struggle many people face. I passed my book on to someone so wouldn’t mind another one!
Ruth, I’m so glad that you’ve had an opportunity to read Paul’s book, and that it was beneficial to you. Thanks for taking the time to pop in here and to comment! Blessings, DrB
I was truly blessed by this message from Paul. As both of you shared statistics and insights that were amazing as to how many people hide their mental health issues especially from their friends at church for they feel that stigma that Christians are not supposed to have these issues. In my 40’s I dealt with depression and even took medication for awhile. No one but my hubby and our doctor ever knew about it. My treatment worked, I did press into the Lord in reading my Bible and I also developed an encouragement ministry. I truly believe the ministry helped me reach out to others and take my focus off myself and put it on loving and encouraging others. That ministry continues even today many years past the depression. I would love to read Paul’s book and glean from him how to see my health issues and other’s mental health issues through God’s perspective. Thank you both for sharing so freely and openly. I will share this blog on Facebook.
Karen, I love that you have an encouragement ministry. Isn’t that what we all need and want? I’m sure you would enjoy Paul’s book. It takes courage to be so open about the things that the rest of the world stigmatizes. Blessings, DrB
Thank you for being obedient to the Lord and sharing your journey. How blessed you are to have found your earthly person to walk with you. Pray your book blesses many.
Hulda, Thanks so much for your kind words to Paul. I pray his post blessed you. Hope Prevails, DrB
Let me try again. I think I lost my comment before I finished. If you see a prior comment please delete.
Paul, thank you for sharing your experience. I found it so helpful especially the part about manifesting things that don’t exist. I have been on the receiving end a little and at the time had no idea the other person had a mental illness. But most devastating I have watched a relationship destroyed between two people I love dearly.
I founded a group called Embracing Faith & Mental Illness for Caregivers and hear of this often. Any tips on how to respond when being accused.
In my situation professional gave me all kinds of different responses one was even to agree with the person even though their accusations were not my truth so they could move forward and rely on me as a safe person. I instead decided to let them have their truth and I would protect them and support them as if it was true however, I clearly stated that, “I had no idea what the truth was.” that there was no evidence pointing in this direction even after a full investigation. To this day, i’m not sure that was the right stance either however, it has given a loophole that hopefully one day this person may decide to see things differently since their is no evidence or memory.
Maree, This is such a hard road to walk. And unfortunately, not all professionals (in any field) give sound or biblical advice. I’m so sorry this has been your experience! Hope Prevails, DrB
Thank you, Paul and Michelle. There’s so much wisdom in acknowledging the reality of God AND the reality of our feelings.
Thank you for sharing your story Paul! I too have a similar story and also wrote a book about my experiences (Hanging on to Hope). I look forward to reading yours 🙂
Annette Newcomb