Episode Summary:
Lust is a man’s problem, right? Wrong. When we see lust as an exclusively male issue, it leaves Christian women with nowhere to turn when they struggle with the same things. The statistics for women addicted to porn are staggering. Christian women are not immune. A 2016 Barna study found 20 percent of Christian women use porn regularly. They suffer with shame silently and often feel alone with nowhere to turn.
My guest, Jessica Harris, made it her mission to break the silence, banish the shame, and bring women’s struggles into the light of God’s grace and forgiveness. Join us as we talk about how Christian women can overcome porn addiction and sexual shame.
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Quotables from the Episode:
- With the advent of the internet came pornography accessibility to women.
- The percentage of women struggling with porn addiction increases as you get younger. With Millennials, you might find 50% of them struggle with pornography. When you get down to Gen-Z, you might find more like 75% to 100%.
- At the core of pornography addiction is loneliness, pressure to go further into other sexual exploits and harm.
- Often, those who struggle with porn addiction are searching for comfort, for belonging, and even the desire to disappear. Their worth, value, and identity become wrapped up and all about sex.
- Pornography divorces sex and intimacy.
- God has grace for women who struggle with pornography and/or sexual shame.
- Women who struggle with pornography can have a vibrant, abundant, and full life and future.
- We are image bearers of God, so our worth comes from Christ. He loves us and bought us with a price.
- The 3 signposts of shame are: 1) warning sign: during which there is an absorption with self; 2) Flight from exposure: we isolate from others to minimize the same; 3) Violence: we lash out and protect what we try to hide.
- Shame isolates; whereas God welcomes us into holiness.
- What hope do we have if we believe that the Giver of freedom wants nothing to do with us?
- The message Christian women need isn’t “stop watching porn” or “porn is bad and contributes to human trafficking” etc. Instead, what they need is a reminder of God’s grace and to know that shame is trying to keep them from the one relationship they need in order to experience true life-giving freedom.
- Grace is something we need every single day. Every single one of us. It doesn’t matter our backstory, shame is always looking for a way to separate us from God, isolate us, and drive us back into the comforts we once knew (sin).
- There is grace and freedom to be found by drawing nearer to God not hiding from Him.
- When you are in the thick of a pornography addiction, or even in the beginning of trying to break free, it can feel like a battle you will never win. It can feel like you are going to spend the rest of your life actively fighting this, and I would want them to know that is not the case.
- Christ offers us freedom and abundant life and science itself has even proven that our minds and bodies can heal. So while the ideal picture of freedom might seem impossible right now, it’s not impossible. Nothing is impossible with God.Shame, by its nature, isolates. It drives us into darkness and into secrecy and we lie to ourselves when we try to convince ourselves we can find freedom on our own. Part of freedom is found in community.
Scripture References:
- John 4:13-14 ESV “Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
- John 10:10 HCSB “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
- John 15:4 ESV “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.”
Recommended Resources: (If there are affiliate links in this post, meaning, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no extra cost to you)).
- Quenched: Discovering God’s Abundant Grace for Women Struggling with Pornography and Sexual Shame by Jessica Harris
- Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
- YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1
- YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2
- Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference
- Revive & Thrive Summit 2
- Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1
- Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2
- Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
- Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
- Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
- Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
Guest:
Jessica Harris is a writer and international speaker who talks openly and honestly about pornography addiction among Christian women in order to facilitate healing. She is recognized as a leading voice on the topic of female porn use and addiction in the church.
Connect with Jessica: Website / Facebook / Instagram
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
