You’re not good enough. You’re useless. You’re not as valuable as other people. Have you ever listened to words like these that swirl around in your head? The negativity of comparison lies. They’re all part of the enemy’s comparison trap. To defeat the lies, you need to know what God says about you. Do you know who you are in Christ?
The experience I share below led me to a place where I was able to defeat the negativity of comparison and grasp who I am in Christ. It was a game-changer.
The comparison game
I sat with my back pinned against the back of the upright chair, legs crossed, assessing my choice of attire for the evening from the boots to the pants to the lace blouse, and finished off with the jewelry—never leave home without it.
Was my choice appropriate for the evening? It seemed to blend in sufficiently with Executive Ellen’s and Powerhouse Pam’s attire. I didn’t mean to, but I was in comparison mode. Oh how I hated that—I always ended up on the short end of the stick.
I spent the evening planning an upcoming event with other area ministry leaders, honored to be included but secretly wondering how I made the guest list.
It wasn’t so much what I wore on the outside that I was comparing with the others, if I was honest with myself. These were high-powered ministry women with years of successful ministry behind them that were more impressive than most ministry leaders I personally knew. Their impact for the kingdom was mighty. They each knew their call and they confidently lived and breathed it each day for decades.
As I sat listening to their suggestions for the event, and adding my thoughts when warranted, I fought to ignore another deafening voice. One that sought to mock me at every turn.
“Why are you even here? You don’t belong here.”
“What have you done for the Kingdom of God that even comes close to comparing to these other women?”
“Maybe God doesn’t trust you as much as He trusts these women to impact the Kingdom of Heaven.”
By the time the evening was over, I couldn’t get to my car fast enough. Thankful that dark skies fell early during these months, tears cascaded down my cheeks and no one could see them through my windows.
What had I done in my life that had any real significance for the Kingdom of Heaven? I wasn’t preaching revivals or teaching on a weekly radio or television program. I hadn’t even devoted my life to teaching children’s Sunday School (for which children should have been grateful! At least I knew where I wasn’t gifted!)
I’m not even sure how I saw through my tears to drive home that night, but by the time I arrived in my garage, I turned off the ignition, sat in the solitude of my parked car and wept.
Could it be true, Lord? That you don’t trust me to have a significant impact for the Kingdom?
Just the thought of it grieved my heart.
All I wanted was for others to see Jesus in me. To want to know Him. For me to one day hear the Father say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
The evening left me feeling useless. Minimized. De-valued. Unworthy.
Who you are in Christ
A friend later asked about my evening and without going into too much detail (how could I? It was too embarrassing to admit my limited value), I shared my concerns of my seemingly limited contribution to God’s kingdom. She encouraged me to pray and ask God what He thought. Before I could stop myself, I admitted that I was afraid of His answer.
“Why?” she asked. “You know your Father adores you…”
“Because it’d break my heart to hear Him say I’ve disappointed Him or could have done more but didn’t.”
What she said next was golden, and just the reminder I needed to defeat the negativity that swirled around in my head discoloring my view not only of myself but of God: “It is not His nature or character to criticize you. He only encourages, exhorts, and builds you up.”
Still, these thoughts stemming from my comparison game plagued me for days. I cried, I prayed, I searched the Scripture. I needed resolution.
As I sought out the Lord for answers, He whispered to my heart, “The enemy likes to tell you who you aren’t, and always in the negative, but I delight in telling you who you are, and always in the positive.”
Tears flowed as I let those words seep into my heart. I had been listening to the negative lies of the enemy: You’re useless. You’re not trustworthy. God doesn’t value you as much as the others. Your purpose isn’t as important.
No wonder I felt discouraged.
Do you ever feel that way too?
I knew the only way to combat those negative lies, was with God’s truth. What does God say about me, and you?
Bible Verses: Who I Am in Christ
God says:
I am His child (John 1:12).
I am His beloved daughter (Galatians 3:26).
I am deeply cherished and loved (Romans 5:8).
I am completely forgiven (1 John 1:9).
I have been made new (2 Corinthians 5:17).
I have been bought with a price and I belong to God (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
I am free from any condemning charges against me (Romans 8:1-2, 31-34).
I have been established, anointed and sealed by God (2 Corinthians 1:21-22).
I am God’s work of art, created for good works (Ephesians 2:10).
I am the salt of the earth and the light of the world (Matthew 5:13-14).
I have been chosen and appointed by God to bear fruit (John 15:16).
I am God’s coworker (2 Corinthians 6:1).
For more truths from God’s word about who God says you are, visit: Who God Says You Are: 17 Scriptures About Our True Identity
The price God paid for us
Later in the week, the Lord whispered to my heart that the value of anything is determined by what anyone is willing to pay for it. God was willing to pay for me with the cost of His very own son’s life. And He didn’t pay any more for any of those other women in the room whom I deemed more valuable or more worthy or more important to Him or the kingdom than I was. He paid the same price for each of us.
No matter what I’ve done, no matter what I haven’t done, no matter how cleaned up I look on the outside or how really broken I am on the inside, God’s words to me remain the same:
I love you.
I am for you.
I believe in you.
You are my child.
I am your friend.
You are not alone.
I have a purpose and a plan for you, and it is GOOD.
We will get through this together.
He paid the same price for me as He did for you. That levels the field.
He knows the plans He has for me and they are good. Likewise, He knows the plans He has for you, and they are equally good.
Let’s stop playing the enemy’s comparison game and start living in our Christ-bought identity. There is eternal security there.
Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
If you’ve ever questioned who you are, what your purpose is, or how God views you, listen to this recent podcast episode. Holley Gerth shares about walking in our true identity in Christ.
(If you have a question you’d like Dr. B to answer, contact her here now. Your name and identity will be kept confidential.)
Michelle, your honesty leads the way for so many of us to stop the comparison challenge by going to God and His word when we are knocked down by the lies of the devil.
You’ve been a blessing to me in your service to Him. Shine on!
Your dream of leading His message will be shining across the nation soon.
He is with you always.
Carolyn,
From your words to God’s eyes and ears, I pray. My heart’s desire is to share His help and His hope far and wide. Part of that message is our completeness in Him. When our identity rests in Him, comparison serves no purpose. Blessings to you, from the one whom #HopePrevails!
Hope does indeed prevail. It is so easy to get caught up in the comparison game. I know that I have compared myself to others all too often. I have to remember the promises from God. We are all children of God “fearfully and wonderfully made” with our own unique gifts and talents.
Tara,
Your struggle is the same as so many of us. The enemy distracts us by getting us to compare ourselves with others. In doing so, we take our eyes off the one who perfects our faith and causes us to instead focus on ourselves. He is the only one we should look at or to. He is our only true source. Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
This was absolutely beautiful. It touched my heart deeply. I am so prone to play the comparison game, and I always feel like I come up short. What I loved is that you so wisely pointed out that these negative thoughts and feelings do not come from God. They come from the father of lies – who only seeks to steal our joy, kill our confidence, and destroy our self-worth. He’s a thief…
God tells us who we ARE – yes!! And He sees us through the lens of His Son, the One who bestows His righteousness upon us. Through Him, we are able…
GOD BLESS!
Sharon,
What helped me the most was realizing that the enemy always highlights the negatives to us, but God always accentuates the positives as He tells us who we are. He sees us through the veil of righteousness because of the sacrifice made by His son, so that we might be seen as righteous too. That’s almost too hard to comprehend. So when the lies come, and they do, frequently, we must always come back to stand on the truth! Because of Him and His truth, #HopePrevails!
I know those lies well myself. And, you are right, the only to defeat those awful lies is with the Truth of God’s word. Thank you for your transparency Michelle.
Sometimes I think the first step Aimee is to recognize the lies for what they are, because the enemy would like for us to believe that we are the only ones who struggle…thus perpetuating the lies. If we will bring the lies out into the open, they no longer hold power over us. So glad we’re sisters on the journey together. Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Michelle, I enjoyed your post and can certainly relate. I especially liked how you said our enemy wants to point who we aren’t. Even when he tempted Jesus he said, “IF you are the Son of God.” The Father said, “This IS My Son in whom I am well pleased.”
Oh YES, Deb, it only takes a little error to be wrong. The enemy only needs to distort by a hair for it to be a mistruth and for us to fall prey to his deceit. But truth is truth, and on truth we can stand! Thanks for that perfect example! Because of Him, #HopePrevals!
great post, michelle – I hate the inner battle i fight w/ comparisons -I even teach others not to! This will help me focus on Satan’s role – to defeat me and critique me vs. God’s loving role. Thanks for this. blessings from CA. where it’s finally raining. (:
Sue,
Glad you’re finally getting rain, but not glad you’re having to fight the same evil one the rest of us are. Not at all surprised, however. Sometimes those things we teach are the very areas we have to wrestle the most because they are so threatening to our enemy. Comparison is such an effective tool of our enemy to keep us defeated rather than living the victorious life Christ came to give. But we can beat him at his game by keeping our eyes on the only One who matters. Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Encouraged by your message! Visiting from Tell His Story.
Thanks so much Lisa! Hope you’ll visit again some time. Blessings!
So moved and touched by this Michelle. This part particularly struck me, “The enemy likes to tell you who you aren’t, and always in the negative, but I delight in telling you who you are, and always in the positive.” What an encouragement for all of us to hear when we’re battling comparison and demeaning ourselves.
#TellHisStory
Crystal, God is always faithful and He always has our good in mind. Sometimes we forget that because we are so used to human relationships that aren’t so altruistic. But He is such a good father. Isn’t it wonderful to know He delights in telling us all the good things He sees in us? And that just makes the enemy cringe! Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Your words have been an encouragement to me as one of my goals in 2016 is to have less negative thoughts about myself. I never really thought about those negative thoughts as coming from Satan, but it makes sense because when we give into those lies, we don’t fully live out our lives the way God wants us to.
I so love that one of your goals is to have less negative thoughts about yourself. But my opinion doesn’t really matter, does it? God delights in knowing that’s one of your goals, and He will help you with that. When we understand that we have the mind of Christ and that our thoughts either come from Him or the enemy, then when we have those negative thoughts, we can more easily reject them knowing they do not line up with the God who created us! That brings freedom! Blessings on you Daughter of the Most High God! Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Great post- it is so easy to fall into the tap of comparing ourselves to others or to listen to the voice telling us we’re not good enough, So important to hold on to the truth that God declares about us. #OneWordCoffee
Thank you Carly! Comparison is a trap, but thankfully because we have been given the mind of Christ, we have been given the keys to getting out of that trap. The keys always entail coming into agreement with God’s truth. Nothing the enemy throws at us will ever be able to come against that truth! Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Such an encouraging post, Michelle. One that shows the true definition of unconditional love, and ignoring the comparison we get from ourselves and others. This was so lovely to read on #SHINEblog hop this week. Thanks so much for joining us!
The truth here is incredibly encouraging! Your honesty and the message of hope mesh into a beautiful story of God’s ability to redeem comparison. I find myself in comparison mode far too often. It hurts. It’s never fun. And it discourages me like you talk about in this post. I am so thankful that God says I am worthy!
I found you via Faith Filled Friday. 🙂
Oh man. The comparison trap is so deadly. And you’re right–Satan accuses, but Jesus is our advocate. We need to know who we are in Christ and cling to the truth of who God has declared us to be.
Dear Michelle, I find it astonishing that you, too, have these negative comparison experiences! God has gifted you with a treasure trove of insights, wisdom, and skill for building up his people. It’s no surprise to me that you were included with those amazing leaders.
As a single mom, I’ve often felt invisible and minimized. I love this message, because it reminds me that only God’s opinion counts, and He believes in me!
I agree with you, Columba! If someone like Michelle can feel that way, then it’s so surprise that I can, too! As I continue on into the Fall and Winter of my life, though, I can say that God is faithful. He teaches that lesson–that we are each as precious in His eyes as if we were His only treasure–over and over and over again until we get it. And oh, the joy, the peace, the rest, in learning that lesson more and more deeply as we go through our lives.
Yes and Amen. 🙂
I love this! How many times I’ve fought similar doubting whispers as I’ve stepped into God’s call for my life, wondering why me, am I worthy, am I remotely equipped for where i’ve stepped. Yet, when I listen closely for His voice, all I hear is love and encouragement. May we all listen more closely to His voice and not these other ones that try to push their way in.
Paid the same price for each of us. Wow. What words to remember those are, Michelle! Thank you. Amen. #DanceWithJesus
Really well done!
A beautiful and timely word of reminder. Thank you!
I remember taking Speech class in school and making an A-minus and my teacher told me I was too nervous that was the minus part. But, through the years I learn from others too. I started teaching kids and loved it for years. This is my first time teaching a women’s class and I really love it, but there is a big difference in teaching and actually preparing something fresh and new for a group of women to hear.
The Lord allowed me at one time to invite speakers, music, and writers to come our church…unfortunately, things changed. And I cried and ask the Lord what was I suppose to do now. Although, that is my desire to share and allow that kind of ministry again someday. There was a time I wish the Lord would use me also to speak and I had the opportunity only twice in a small setting, and yes, I felt very little, so very little in comparison to some of the other ladies that spoke. I don’t know if I will ever get the opportunity again.
It is hard sometimes to really know what I am good at sometimes…maybe cook and bottle washer.
Joyce, God has gifted you in many ways. Sometimes it’s hard not to compare our gifts with the gifts God has given others, and to not think some are more important than others. But we are all created in His image, and have been given our unique gifts. Enjoy them…God picked the out specifically for you.
Loved this: “The enemy likes to tell you who you aren’t, and always in the negative, but I delight in telling you who you are, and always in the positive.”
This is so true and we all need to remember it.
Thanks for sharing the scriptures of who we are in Christ. I’m pinning it!
Thanks for visiting Jerralea, and for pinning it. If we could really get down in our soul who we are in Christ, we would all interact with the world a bit differently. Thanks for visiting!
Thank you for this encouraging post, Michelle. I especially love your use of Scripture!
Pinned.
Thank you for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
Patsy, thank you. I just LOVE that God has given us everything we need for life and godliness in His scriptures. Where would we be without His truth?
The temptation to compare ourselves with others or to try to become like them is a strong one. God wants us to be just who He made us to be. We may be called to speak (or whatever) but we may never attain greatness in that journey. The goal is to bring others to God and keep the reward ceremony for heaven.