Episode Summary:

Grief and loss are hard. When we suffer loss, we enter the realm of “used to be.” We used to be married. Used to be employed. Used to be pregnant, secure, healthy, sober, or thin. We used to be a son or daughter, a brother or a sister, a mother or father, a wife or a husband. And in that used-to-be space there is deep emptiness, loneliness, and sorrow. It’s a place they dwell for a while. But it’s not a place we are meant to remain. Maybe you “used to be” something—but there is a future waiting when you “will be” once more. Join me on Thursday’s podcast with Chuck and Ashley Elliott as we talk about how to cope with loss.


Watch on YouTube:



Quotables from the episode:

  • “He [God] has given us His Word, and we can hold on to what it says, even when our emotions or our reality screams that God is absent. “
  • “We cannot completely control our world, but we can change our behavior. It’s amazing how much our behavior positively or negatively affects everything around us, especially our perception of the world.”
  • “Where I am in my story is only temporary.”
  • “In God’s silence, I grew in seeing God’s faithfulness.”
  • “Faith is holding on when you want to give up.”
  • “Grief lies to us and tells us that we are alone, that we need to isolate, and even that God is disappointed in us.”
  • “Spiritual Dissonance is when you believe God is good, but then when something bad happens we wonder if he is good.
  • “Anger is a common response in grief, because grief feels like your power has been stripped away, and anger makes us feel strong and powerful again.”
  • “Underneath anger are often fear, loneliness, despair, and jealousy.”
  • “Sometimes it feels easier to change our beliefs about God rather than do the emotional, spiritual, and physical work necessary to explore the dissonance.”
  • “Grieving people need connection, especially to Jesus. And Jesus stood in our place and is now allowing us to stand in His place, representing Him to those who are hurting.”
  • “Give yourself permission to grieve, even at work.”
  • “We can thrive after loss, building mental stability. It’s normal to feel abnormal after loss! It’s what we do next that determines whether or not we leave a legacy!”
  • “A relationship with God is more fulfilling than anything we lost.”


Scripture References:

  • Psalm 84:6 (NLT) says, “When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs.”


Recommended Resources: (If there are affiliate links in this post, meaning, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no extra cost to you)).



Social Media Links for Host and Guest:

Connect with Chuck and Ashley Elliott:

Website / Facebook / Instagram

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order book The Hem of His Garment / Order book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  / Order Book Hope Prevails Bible Study /  Website  /  Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram Pinterest / YouTube


Chuck and Ashley ElliottChuck and Ashley Elliott are authors of the book I Used to be ____ and spend much of their time equipping people to build spiritual and relational success. Chuck, as a pastor, and Ashley, as a counselor, have devoted their lives to help people fight negativity and leave a legacy. They earned master’s degrees in counseling, education, and organizational leadership. Chuck and Ashley live in Indiana with their three sons and enjoy spending time outside as a family.




Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson


Grief and loss are hard. Learn how to navigate the challenging journey of grief and loss. Chuck and Ashley Elliott share strategies for how to cope with loss and find hope in the midst of sorrow.