Dear Dr. B,
Something weird happens in the days leading up to my husband’s return from deployment either for good or R&R… I find myself doing some weird, completely unnecessary things. Like cleaning out and organizing my closet when I should be getting my kids out the door for school. I’m also often unable to make logical decisions. Easy ones, like what’s for dinner. There’s got to be a good explanation. Is there?
Confused but Well-Intended
YES, there is a logical explanation of it but you may not like it. Everything you are describing is rooted in fear. Fear is based on a concern about lack of control.
When we are faced with a big event, even a good one like a husband coming home from deployment (either permanently or for R&R), it represents a significant change from routine, and a potential lack of control for you (no longer being in control of your usual schedule, routine, surroundings, etc.) That concern regarding lack of control breeds fear.
God’s word says He has not given us a spirit of fear but of power love and sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). But we often let the spirit of fear in when we take our eyes off Him, and when we do that, we lose the power, love, and sound mind, so you can’t make logical decisions. You can’t serve both kingdoms at once. Choose this day whom you will serve…(Joshua 24:15).
Your cleaning out and organizing is your way of trying to regain control in whatever way you can because that helps keep anxiety at bay. But really, He desires for you to keep your peace, trust Him, and keep the power, love, and sound mind that is already within you.
You CAN do this! Next time you hear those whispers of fear, tell them to shut up! Those are not your thoughts. Instead, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
Because of Him,
(If you have a question you’d like Dr. B to answer, contact her here now. Your name and identity will be kept confidential.)
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Dr. Michelle Bengtson
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What a profound and insightful post!
Only recently am I realizing that a lot of my fear is rooted in feeling a lack of control.
Thank you for pointing us back to our Heavenly Father who gives us the peace that surpasses all understanding.
I pray that revelation helps you right there! Knowing what we are doing and why helps put us on a path for purposeful change. Oh how He loves you and beckons you to lay your burdens at His feet! Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Michelle, I’ve never thought about how we turn to things we can control when we’re experiencing fear. That’s really good to ponder. Thank you for that insight! So good to have this tucked away the next time I find myself controlling!
I see it all the time in my patients, and then I realized, I’m not exempt either. We attempt to control in order to minimize anxiety and fear. The best thing we can do is to instead give it to Him. His yolk is easy and His burden is light. Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
I can honestly say that I am distracted, almost constantly since my hysterectomy. It disappoints me a great deal that I cannot remember as well as I did, nor can I multi-task successfully like I used to.
Fear, I will have to ponder on that and pray.
Fear may not ALWAYS be the driving factor, but it frequently is 😉 Blessings to you, and prayers for complete healing! Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Love this. Thank you. Focusing on God’s word will drive out fear, yet it’s often something we consider as a last resort.
You’re so right Kris, but the enemy doesn’t want us to think of it. So now that we’re more aware, we can be more proactive! Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Thank you for this wonderful insight.
Glad you enjoyed Lori. Hope we’ll see you back here again sometime. Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
I love these words that urge your readers to take responsibility for our thoughts, and at the same time fall back on the grace of our mighty God.
Thank you Michele. He has given us all the keys for life and godliness, and fortunately, enough grace for when we fall short. Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
This reminds me of when Peter walked toward Jesus on the water. As long as he was focused on Christ, all was well. But as soon as Peter got distracted and noticed the storm around him, he began to sink! Lovely reminder here – thank you for sharing!
I hadn’t thought of that example, but yes, very much so. We must always keep our eyes on the only thing that matters, the only thing that saves, the only thing that heals: Jesus. Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
This is great advice, Michelle! I, too have found myself majoring in the minors when I’m stressed out. Thank you for the explanation!
My mom stress cleans so I think you are on the right track! Good advice! Thanks for sharing your link at the #HomeMattersParty !