Dear Dr. B,

Something weird happens in the days leading up to my husband’s return from deployment either for good or R&R… I find myself doing some weird, completely unnecessary things. Like cleaning out and organizing my closet when I should be getting my kids out the door for school. I’m also often unable to make logical decisions. Easy ones, like what’s for dinner. There’s got to be a good explanation. Is there?

Confused but Well-Intended


Dear Well-Intended,

YES, there is a logical explanation of it but you may not like it. Everything you are describing is rooted in fear. Fear is based on a concern about lack of control.

When we are faced with a big event, even a good one like a husband coming home from deployment (either permanently or for R&R), it represents a significant change from routine, and a potential lack of control for you (no longer being in control of your usual schedule, routine, surroundings, etc.) That concern regarding lack of control breeds fear.

God’s word says He has not given us a spirit of fear but of power love and sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). But we often let the spirit of fear in when we take our eyes off Him, and when we do that, we lose the power, love, and sound mind, so you can’t make logical decisions. You can’t serve both kingdoms at once. Choose this day whom you will serve…(Joshua 24:15).

Your cleaning out and organizing is your way of trying to regain control in whatever way you can because that helps keep anxiety at bay. But really, He desires for you to keep your peace, trust Him, and keep the power, love, and sound mind that is already within you.

You CAN do this! Next time you hear those whispers of fear, tell them to shut up! Those are not your thoughts. Instead, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).


God desires that you keep your peace and trust Him. Think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable.


Because of Him,


(If you have a question you’d like Dr. B to answer, contact her here now. Your name and identity will be kept confidential.)


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Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey through Depression
Dr. Michelle Bengtson

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What does it mean when you're faced with a big event, but you are distracted by the unnecessary? Instead of making dinner, you're cleaning out the closet. What do you do when fear raises it's head?