How do you find hope when life doesn’t go as you planned, and in fact, goes much worse than you expected? How do you find and hold onto hope when there is no resolution in sight for your painful wound? My friend, Julie Sunne, knows about that very thing. On a recent episode of Your Hope Filled Perspective, she shared her story and how difficult it was when she had children born with various disabilities (listen here: How to Find Hope and Healing When Life and Parenthood Don’t Go as Expected – Episode 282). The interviews on the Sacred Scar Story Series on the podcast are pretty short, so I asked Julie to share here five steps for finding hope during the tough stuff of life:

Five Steps for Finding Hope During the Tough Stuff of Life
By Julie Sunne

Major road construction in front of the hotel had crippled its business for nearly a year. The hotel clerk mentioned it’d likely be another year before the highway would be complete.

“That’s tough,” I sympathized. The young man glanced from me to my daughter. “Yeah, it is,” he shrugged, “but sometimes life itself is hard.”

Sometimes Life Itself Is Hard

I couldn’t argue with him on that point. Life certainly has been difficult for my husband and me. Steering our daughter, Rachel, around the many strangers she tried to hug as we headed out the door was a vivid reminder of that very thing.

Our 26-year-old daughter largely functions as a 3-year-old, with severely restricted vocabulary, self-awareness, and self-help skills. She will never be able to live independently. And as my husband and I age, planning for her future looms large.

Where will she live when we can no longer care for her? Who will understand her needs … and care enough to meet them? Where will she be safe and well provided for?

God allowed other difficult circumstances in our lives as well. Five of my nine pregnancies ended in miscarriage. I experienced a short time of intense depression after I lost my first baby. Two of our boys faced physical and learning disabilities. I recently lost both of my parents, my mom unexpectedly after an extended time of caring for my dad as he battled physical and mental decline.

Then there are the daily living pressures of illnesses, finances, relationships, and responsibilities we all face. Sin has played havoc with the Eden God originally created. We live in a broken world and tough stuff happens to all of us.

Dealing With the Tough Stuff

So how do we handle those difficult circumstances? How do we process those unfulfilled expectations and the unwanted situations that have replaced those expectations? How do we deal with the hard things of life without growing bitter and resentful?

First, acknowledge the real loss that it is. It’s okay and right to grieve. Jesus did; for example, with Lazarus (John 11:33-35) and in the garden before His death (Mark 14:32-36). We live in a broken world, and that’s something to grieve.

However, we must be careful not to camp in that grief. Grief is part of the journey, not the destination. So, we mourn our loss but look for what the Lord will grow from those ashes.

Second, turn toward, not away, from God: in prayer, in spirit, in honesty and vulnerability. It’s okay to openly share our feelings with the Lord. He created us with emotions; He can handle us expressing them.

Remaining open to speaking to and hearing from God, even in our anger and frustration, is vital to find healing and purpose in the hard things of life. It may be difficult to know what to say when deeply hurt, but don’t let that stop you. In our misery, when we don’t know how to pray—what to say in prayer—the Holy Spirit promises to intercede on our behalf (Romans 8:26). How beautiful is that!

Third, find those practical/tangible things to still give thanks for: the sunrise, sunset, or raindrops; your breath; family and friends. Because the Lord is good, there are always blessings to be grateful for.

Sometimes we only have the capacity to notice the obvious but often overlooked gifts that stare us in the face every day … those things we take for granted. Perhaps it’s the groceries in our refrigerator, the electricity that operates our lights, or having running water.

No matter how minor the items on your gratitude list seem, the process of noticing them, of naming them, minister to our hearts in a profound way. It’s not what we express gratitude for but the actual act of giving thanks that makes the difference.

Fourth, spend time in the Word to get to know the Lord’s character, to allow Him to “speak” to you. The more we immerse ourselves in the attributes of God, the more we’ll grow to trust the One who is perfectly faithful, loving, just, merciful, kind, and gracious: the One who knows all things, sees all things, and can do all things. His trustworthy and able character assures us that we can trust His promises.

Exploring God’s character prepares our hearts in ways few if any other exercises do. It softens them to receive the truth of God’s love, faithfulness, and capability. It reminds us of who is really in control and reassures us of the hope we have in Him.

Finally, learn to embrace the work God is doing in your life by surrendering expectations of what that should look like. The Lord is a God of possibility, not impossibility. No giant stands too powerful; no mountain rises too high; no obstacle rests too immovable. But how He delivers us won’t always look the way we think it should.

He may secure victory in a manner that looks a lot like defeat to us. However, He knows exactly what needs to be done and exactly how to accomplish it. Not only that, but He’s already working on making it happen.

Trust God to Bring Beauty Amid the Ugly

Yes, sometimes life itself is hard. We grow desperate for hope during those long, dark nights of sorrow and suffering, but in the character of God lies that hope. His love is unending and unchanging, meaning He only wants the best for us His children. His incomparable power, wisdom, and might ensure nothing is too hard or too far out of His reach. As we take the steps to know Him better and to surrender our expectations to Him, we’ll be reminded anew of His adequacy, trustworthiness, and incomparability.

The fact that we won’t always understand the reason God allows certain things to happen in our lives is a good thing really. It points to the vast and transcendent nature of God: His ability to rise above and conquer anything.

No, the Lord doesn’t keep us from all trouble. In fact, He explicitly says we will have it (John 16:33). But later in the very same verse, He encourages us to “take heart!” because He has already “overcome the world.”

So, my friend, take heart! With Christ, you’ve already overcome the worst of circumstances, death itself! Nothing can prevail against the Creator Himself. And He is on our side, with a plan to make beautiful that which in the moment appears ugly.

How do you find hope during the tough stuff in life? We’d love to hear in the comments below.

[If this, or any of the other sacred scar stories has encouraged you, consider picking up a copy of the new book Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted, and maybe get a copy for a friend, also, who is going through a hard time and needs to be encouraged that God never wastes our pain!]

 

Life's struggles are real, but you don't have to go through them alone. @JulieSunne1 shares 5 faith-filled steps to navigate hard times with grace and gratitude. 🙏 #SacredScars Share on X Feeling overwhelmed by life? Even in the darkest moments, hope is possible! @juliesunne1 shares 5 steps to finding peace in tough times. #SacredScars Share on X

 

About Julie Sunne

Julie Sunne writes about finding real hope amid life’s real struggles. Her own struggles include enduring multiple miscarriages and caregiving for her adult daughter who has significant intellectual disabilities. Julie’s writing has been featured in print devotionals for several online sites. Julie and her husband, David, are parents to three grown sons and a daughter and reside with their daughter in rural northeast Iowa.

Connect with Julie: Website / Facebook / X / Instagram / Pinterest / LinkedIn

 

 

Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise that Your Pain is Not Wasted

Now Available!

 

We all endure trials, pain, and hardship in this life. Too often we believe these experiences disqualify us from being useful to God. But the truth is, your past pain and brokenness serve as preparation for what God wants to do in and through you – if you will surrender to and trust him.

Just as Jesus’s scars didn’t disappear after his resurrection, our emotional or physical scars tell our story and lend credence to our testimony of God’s love and power. If you are ready to turn your past pain into present comfort and future hope, let Dr. Bengtson be your compassionate guide.

Find out more and order here: Sacred Scars