Finding Hope in a Blue Christmas: How to Care for Hurting Hearts During the Holidays – Episode 347

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Dr. Michelle Bengtson and Rev. Jessica Van Roekel share about how to find hope in a blue Christmas.

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Episode Summary for Finding Hope in a Blue Christmas:

Christmas is often described as the most wonderful time of the year, but for many, it doesn’t feel that way. Whether because of grief, loneliness, financial strain, or painful memories, the holidays can intensify sadness instead of joy. Today on Your Hope-Filled Perspective, Jessica Van Roekel and I want to talk about what we call a ‘Blue Christmas.’ Together, we explore why it’s important to give ourselves and others permission to grieve during the holiday season, how God meets us in our pain, and ways to navigate December with compassion and hope.

 

Quotables from How to Find Hope When Christmas is Blue:

  • For some, Christmas brings laughter, lights, and loved ones. But for others, it’s a season that magnifies loss, heartache, or isolation. If you or someone you know is struggling this Christmas, you’re not alone. On today’s episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, Jessica Van Roekel and I will share how to give space for what we call a ‘Blue Christmas’—a time when we acknowledge that the holidays can be hard, while also discovering God’s gentle presence and the hope He offers, even in the midst of sorrow.
  • I wanted to acknowledge that while Christmas is often referred to the most joyous time of year, it isn’t for everyone, and it’s important for us to acknowledge our thoughts and feelings, but simultaneously continue to put our hope in God.
  • Often, Christmas is portrayed as magical, joyous, and full of peace. But for many, that’s simply not the reality. Grief, depression, loneliness, or broken family relationships can make Christmas feel heavy.
  • And pretending everything is fine when it’s not only deepens the ache. God invites us to bring Him our honest emotions. Think about the Psalms—David poured out his sorrows, and yet found hope in God’s presence.
  • Let’s name some reasons people might struggle at Christmas:
    • Grief from losing a loved one.
    • Family estrangement or broken relationships.
    • Loneliness, especially for singles, widows, or those far from family.
    • Financial hardship that makes gift-giving stressful.
    • Mental health battles like depression or anxiety.
    • Unmet expectations.
  • Christmas can amplify those pains. Lights and carols may remind us of what we don’t have. But Jesus came into a world of darkness. Isaiah 9:2 says, “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.” His presence is especially near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
  • Sometimes we pressure ourselves to “put on a happy face.” But it’s okay to grieve at Christmas. Lament is part of worship.
  • Jesus Himself wept (John 11:35). If the Son of God cried at loss, then tears are holy too. Giving yourself permission to be real is not a lack of faith.
  • We can also set boundaries. Maybe we can’t attend every party. Maybe we create new traditions that feel gentler for our souls this year.
  • Sometimes the best gift is presence, not presents. Just sitting with someone, listening, or sending a simple “thinking of you” note can mean the world.
  • And don’t say, “You should be happy, it’s Christmas.” Instead, validate their feelings. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
  • Another practical tip—invite them into your traditions in small ways, without pressure. Even a quiet cup of cocoa together can bring comfort.
  • At the heart of Christmas is Emmanuel—God with us. That truth doesn’t change, whether our Christmas is merry or blue.
  • We can both acknowledge sorrow and cling to hope.
  • One way is through Scripture meditation. Even reading Luke 2 slowly and remembering that Christ entered a broken, chaotic world can remind us we’re not alone.
  • Some practical things that help in a Blue Christmas:
    • Create a memory box or light a candle in honor of a loved one.
    • Simplify expectations. You don’t have to do all the traditions.
    • Prioritize rest and self-care.
    • Spend time with safe people who encourage your heart.
    • And when emotions overwhelm, breathe a prayer like: “Lord, hold me in this moment.” God doesn’t require eloquence—He wants our honesty.
  • Friend, if you’re facing a Blue Christmas, know this: You are not broken because you feel sorrow. God sees you, loves you, and promises to draw near.
  • He is “Immanuel—God with us.” That’s the real miracle of Christmas. Whether your Christmas is filled with joy or tears, His presence is your anchor.

 

Scripture References:

  • Psalm 42:11 “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God…”
  • Matthew 1:23 “They will call Him Immanuel, which means ‘God with us.’”
  • Ecclesiastes 3:4 “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance”
  • Isaiah 9:2 “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.”
  • Psalm 34:18 His presence is especially near to the brokenhearted.
  • Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

 

Recommended Resources: (If there are affiliate links in this post, meaning, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no extra cost to you)).

 

The season that brings joy to many can deepen sorrow for others. Join me and Rev. Jessica Van Roekel as we share how to find hope in a blue Christmas. If the holidays are hard for you, this episode will comfort and encourage you. Share on X If the holidays stir more sadness than joy, take heart. Jessica Van Roekel and I open a conversation about giving sorrow space and finding God’s comfort when Christmas feels blue. Share on X

 

Social Media Links for Host and Co-Host:

Connect with Co-Host Reverend Jessica Van Roekel:

Website / Instagram / Facebook

 

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Sacred Scars / Order book The Hem of His Garment / Order book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  / Order Book Hope Prevails Bible Study /  Website  /  Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

 

About Co-Host Rev. Jessica Van Roekel:

Jessica Van Roekel, authorJessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.

 

 

 

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

 

For many, Christmas brings reminders of loss, strained relationships, financial pressure, or a deep sense of loneliness. How do you find hope in the midst of a blue Christmas? Join me and Rev. Jessica Van Roekel as we share how to make space for honest grief and the tender ways God meets us in our pain.

 

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