Everywhere I look, I see people—friends, family, even strangers—carrying heavy burdens of pain, whether it’s physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, grief or loss. Without giving it much thought, I can readily name 25 people who are experiencing some kind of pain. The truth is, we all know someone who’s struggling. We believe God can heal, but what do we do in the meantime, while we’re still waiting for that healing to come? How do we find hope and strength in the midst of the pain?

A Friend to Speak the Truth in Love

I’ve written and published a couple books in the past couple of years: The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms and Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted. People have asked me numerous times, “Why did you write them?” In short, because I have walked through the valley of physical, emotional, relational, spiritual pain, grief and loss, and I can hardly think of a single friend or family member who isn’t also enduring great pain of some kind, and I’ve come to realize that when our pain is greatest, we are often the most vulnerable to the lies of the enemy. It’s in those times when the enemy’s lies are deafening, that we need a friend to speak truth in love to us, to help us combat those lies with the truth of God’s Word. Frequently we aren’t even aware that we are listening to lies, and it can be helpful to surround ourselves with those who will speak truth in love especially during those times. Our thoughts and our words have power, which is why God admonishes us to “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV).

 

 

Hidden Scars

Most of us readily identify with physical scars from a surgery, or middle school bike accident, or teenage acne scars. But many of our scars are hidden. I’ve been told by some that they are nervous about what those hidden scars are, and how to handle them when they arise. When asked for advice about such hidden scars, I acknowledge that it is true, many of our scars are hidden to others, and sometimes even to ourselves, but they are not hidden to God.

Our scars are safe with God.

When we will prayerfully cast those scars at his feet, and seek his healing in the hidden places, we can be confident that he will heal at a pace that he knows we can handle. Healing within God’s merciful hand is much like peeling an onion back—there are many layers. God often peels back an area of our heart or mind, heals a layer, lets us live in that healing for a while, before repeating the cycle and peeling back another layer for healing. Because God knows us intimately, he never takes on too much, too fast.

Warning Signs

Sometimes wounds come at the hands or words of others.
Sometimes we engage in behavior that causes our painful wounds.
Sometimes there is no obvious explanation for a wound.
But there are frequently warning signs or clues when wounds haven’t healed.

While this list isn’t exhaustive, those warning signs often include:

• anger that is out of proportion for a situation,
• people pleasing tendencies,
• excessive crying,
• depression,
• anxiety,
• suicidal tendencies,
• numbing the pain,
• addictive behaviors,
• over-reacting,
• defensiveness, and
• sometimes social withdrawal or extreme extroversion.

Frequently, we cannot control what others do to us, but we must take responsibility for our personal response. We need to carefully pay attention to our words and our behaviors because they will often clue us in to an area in our heart or mind that needs tending to by our great healer.

Waiting for Healing

Frequently we desire, and even pray for healing. But healing is not promised in its entirety this side of heaven. In scripture, we know that after his encounter with God, Jacob retained a limp to his dying day (Genesis 32:25, 31-32.) Furthermore, Paul shares that he was stricken with a thorn in his side (2 Corinthians 12:7.) He asked God to remove it three times, but rather than healing Paul, God assured him that his grace was sufficient for him (2 Corinthians 12:9.) So, what do we do while we wait for our wounds to be healed?

1. Do Not Underestimate God – Scripture tells us that we can make our plans, but God orders our steps. We also know that God’s ways and God’s timing are not the same as ours. We are assured that all things are possible with God, so we continue to wait expectantly.
2. Trust God’s Grace – God never removed the physical, emotional, relational, financial, or spiritual situations which caused Job so much pain. But he did reveal more of himself to Job, which Job was ultimately grateful for. And just like with Paul, even if God chooses not to heal us this side of heaven, we can trust that his grace and strength and power and courage will be enough for us to get through the pain.
3. Ask God to Comfort You While You Wait – when we are in a painful situation, we just want it to end. We grow frustrated and want a quick fix. Yet, frequently God is teaching us something in the heat of affliction. Those lessons are more valuable than healing, because they teach us perseverance in the wait, and they teach us that God’s purposes and plans serve a redemptive purpose in our lives. So while we wait for God to heal, ask him to comfort you in the wait. When we feel loved, held, and cradled in his arms, the physical, emotional, relational, or spiritual assaults are less devastating because we are protected by God who loves us very much.
4. Ask God to Redeem It – when I was physically experiencing a life-threatening illness many years ago, and succumbed to the valley of depression as a result, I was very honest with God. I told him I didn’t like the pain or the suffering, but if I had to go through it, I wanted it to have a purpose…I didn’t want it to be for nothing. Since that time, over a decade later, I have seen God’s redemptive hand at work repeatedly to bring beauty for those ashes of suffering, and redemptive sacred scars for the wounds I bore. God will do the same for you. Just ask him.

 

 

When the Pain of the Past Re-Emerges

Even when we have asked God for forgiveness for the pain of our past, and we know that Jesus forgave us when he died for our sins on the cross, sometimes our past wounds can feel so heavy. There are a few important reasons for this:

1. We know God forgives, but we haven’t accepted his forgiveness. If I give my children a beautifully wrapped present at Christmas, but they never open it, they may know that I’m a mother who loves them and generously shows my love, but it’s up to them to open the present and receive the gift. The same is true of God’s forgiveness—it’s a gift we choose to receive.
2. Sometimes we receive God’s forgiveness, but we struggle to forgive ourselves. I’ve been there. But if we don’t forgive ourselves, it’s like telling Jesus, “Your sacrifice on the cross wasn’t enough for me.” If you’re struggling to forgive yourself because of guilt, shame, regret, remorse, or fear, ask God to help you. He will. He wants to set you free. The enemy shames and condemns us, God woos us with conviction so we can stay in right relationship with him. His voice is kind and gentle and loving.
3. Remember that the enemy of our soul isn’t very creative. He always goes back to the strategies with us that were effective for him before. So if your struggle has been worry, fear, or anxiety, he will try to tempt you to go back into that mindset. If your struggle is people pleasing, he will create circumstances to try to get you to fall back into the very same pattern that worked with you in the past. Hopefully, over time, you will become more quickly aware of the schemes of the enemy, identify them, and counter them with the truth of God’s word.

Sharing Your Story With Others

When we are still healing in an area of our lives, it can often be helpful to share our story with someone else: a pastor, counselor, mentor, coach, or good friend who will speak the truth in love. But before you share, take stock of what you’ve noticed about them in the past. Look for someone who is grounded in God’s word. Also look for consistency. If your friend has had a tendency to give unwanted advice or gossip in the past, they probably will do the same thing again, and thus probably aren’t a safe person to bare your heart to.

One of the beautiful things that happens when God heals our painful wounds and replaces them with beautiful sacred scars, is that we can comfort others with the same comfort he has given with others. As you heal, ask God for opportunities to share your experience with others who are just a few steps further down the ladder of healing than you are. In situations like this, you have the opportunity to be to them the gift that you may have wished you had on your healing journey.

What has been helpful to you to do while you waited on God to heal you? We’d love to hear it in the comments below.

Please consider picking up a copy of Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted for you and for a friend who is struggling to find purpose in their pain. And if you’ve read Sacred Scars, would you please consider leaving an Amazon review? It helps other readers find valuable resources that can encourage them on their healing journey.

 

Struggling with pain? God can heal, but what do we do while we wait? Discover practical steps to find hope, strength, and purpose while you wait for His healing. Share on X We all know someone struggling with pain—whether physical, emotional, or spiritual. While we wait for God to heal, here’s how we can find comfort and strength. Share on X

 

Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise that Your Pain is Not Wasted

Now Available!

 

We all endure trials, pain, and hardship in this life. Too often we believe these experiences disqualify us from being useful to God. But the truth is, your past pain and brokenness serve as preparation for what God wants to do in and through you – if you will surrender to and trust him.

Just as Jesus’s scars didn’t disappear after his resurrection, our emotional or physical scars tell our story and lend credence to our testimony of God’s love and power. If you are ready to turn your past pain into present comfort and future hope, let Dr. Bengtson be your compassionate guide.

Find out more and order here: Sacred Scars