Today’s guest post is by my friend, fellow author and speaker, Kim Aldrich. Kim has weathered the storm of depression and is often asked to share her story and how she found “joy in the middle.” I know you’ll enjoy her thoughts today about the difference between grief and regret (and Oh what a difference there is!)
DON’T:
Waste time regretting yesterday’s losses
DO:
Embrace today so you won’t regret tomorrow
I don’t know about you, but I’ve spent an awful lot of time in my life obsessing over what DID happen that I wish DIDN’T…or what DIDN’T happen that I wish DID. Either way, it’s a vicious cycle.
Obsession is even worse company. It blinds you to anything and everything but the one thing you don’t have. Put the two together, and they’ll eat your insides out and suck away every possibility of being present in the here and now, where life actually has a chance of happening.
Of course, grief and mourning are a necessary part of life when we experience a loss. At times grief can look strangely similar to regret, yet with one important difference:
Healthy grief helps us accept and adjust to a loss, eventually making room for new experiences and growth, while regret and obsession never give up their space in our hearts and minds – thus making new growth impossible.
A wise man once said, “If you don’t like your past, build a new one.”
HAPPY TRUTH:
Living today well paves the way for a regret free tomorrow!
To learn more about Kim or read more of her writing, you can find her at: http://thegrowingedgeblog.com
Good post, and a good way to start the year.
One thing, though – I have found that regret has been a spur to action for me.
You miss the chance to save a life because you hesitate, and it stays with you.
People have called me brave, because I’ve taken seriously crazy risks to pull someone out of the fire.
I’m not brave at all., I’m simply terrified of ever seeing my failure to act reflected in the face of someone doomed by my inaction.
I dishonoured myself once, and the regret over that has animated my life every day since.
Andrew, you make a valid point! Regret may have the potential to spur one to action if you use it positively that way. For many, I see it result in lassitude and inactivity. There is a fine line between grief and regret or even guilt and regret, just as there is between conviction and condemnation. Thanks for sharing your input. You’ve given me yet another way to think about it!