Feeling scarred by life’s rejections? Jessica Van Roekel shares how to heal from the scars of rejection. Learn how to piece your life back together, just like a broken plate, and find healing through faith and trust in God’s grace. He’ll lead you on a journey of restoration so you can embrace a life renewed by His healing touch.

On a recent episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective podcast, I chatted with Jessica about how to transform the wounds of rejection into sacred scars. If you’ve experienced the wounds of rejection, you won’t want to miss this episode so you can learn how God can transform those wounds into triumphs.

How to Heal from the Scars of Rejection
By Jessica Van Roekel

One of my decorative plates rolled down the front of my piano, clattered onto the ivory keys before it landed in pieces on the carpeted floor. I should have thrown it away, but I gathered up the pieces, armed myself with superglue and began a sticky project. First, the three large pieces, then, the myriad of tiny pieces fitting together to restore the plate to its circular shape with a narrow “v” shape at the one-o-clock position. The pieces for that section were far too small to repair so I learned to embrace its imperfection.

Finding strength in brokenness

Over time, I began to see my life represented in this plate. Life’s encounters with rejection led to brokenness. God, in his tender mercy, put me back together again with cracks and missing pieces ready for his gracious touch. What was too shattered to repair, he would restore with himself. We need to be willing to unclench our fist around the broken pieces in our lives and let God walk us through the pain to experience renewal.

When we experience a broken heart over rejection, we can find this a difficult concept to accept. I understand. Rejection wreaked havoc in my life. Experiences with adults in my early years, schoolmates through the many schools I attended, and peers from my adulthood led to a constant fear and expectation of rejection. Feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, and believing myself to be forgettable created fear, anger, bitterness, and cynicism which shaped my identity and infected my Christian walk. Then I fell on Christ, where I broke into thousands of pieces, and he put me back together again. He can do the same for you.

Embracing God’s restoration

Healing from rejection is a continual process as we encounter it. When someone has hurt us or we hurt them, we can experience restoration when we surrender our hurt to the Healer. But we have an Enemy who rejoices when we’re destroyed. This enemy will use every weapon at his disposal and two of his favorites to use are condemnation and deceit.

On your worst days, he will lie and tell you God does not and cannot love you. On your best days, he will remind you of your failures. But God. God holds us close while we wrestle with fear, insecurity, and the people-pleasing ways that drive us to control and perfectionism. The Enemy wants to blind us to the truth that God doesn’t leave us or forsake us. The Enemy tries to get us to pull away from God’s kindness, grace, and mercy. But God is for us and makes us whole and healed when we turn to him.

This is through the power of the living God, the redeeming work of Jesus Christ, and the overflow of the Holy Spirit in our lives. It’s possible when we realize our lives matter–the good, the bad, and the ugly—for one purpose: to bring glory and honor to our amazing, majestic God. Just as a prairie turns a brilliant, emerald green after a fire destroys every living plant, so does our heart when God’s spirit blows into ours. He turns the scorched places into new growth.

Through our submission to God’s restoration in our lives, he guides us, satisfies our needs in the desert places, and makes us like well-watered gardens. Jesus is our living water. He fills our broken places and satisfies our parched hearts. And he does something else—he enables us to become restorers for other people, like Nehemiah was for his people. Nehemiah, a slave to a foreign king, rebuilt the wall around Jerusalem and brought his people back to spiritual wholeness with God.

Becoming a beacon of hope

Imagine what we could do in a culture who delights in canceling and ghosting people if we reframed rejection. What if we let God use us to restore someone’s broken places? The healing the Lord does in us can be used for the benefit of other people. We get to minister, love, and point to the way the Lord—even when it feels like God has abandoned us like Naomi in Ruth 1:12-13, and even when we wander in the woods and feel rejection nipping at our heels, like lost sheep.

Rejection can leave behind rubble in our lives and relationships. Sometimes the sting of someone’s disregard feels like the afterburn of a fire-breathing dragon. But God restores a broken heart as it builds its life on the Lord. God guides us through the pain, he satisfies our needs to be seen, even when we feel we aren’t. He strengthens us and makes us like a well-watered garden—bringing life out of wounds.

God rebuilds our life on a firm foundation as we find our security in who God says he is and who we are in him. The parts of us that cracked from a chronic fear of rejection are being built anew in Jesus’ power. When we walk in obedience to him, we become what the prophet Isaiah describes in Isaiah 58:12: “Repairer of Broken Walls [and] Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.” We can bear witness to our restoration and then to the restoration of other people.

Oh, how God loves you and longs for you to open your hands and trust him with the innermost places of your heart, especially the tender and festering wounds. If he can take me, a lost, lonely woman and love her and restore her, then he can take and do the same for you. Your wounds with rejection don’t have to define your today or determine your tomorrow. God can turn your wounds into scars so you can share his faithful, steadfast, everlasting, healing love with those around you.

Excerpt from Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything by Jessica Van Roekel (© 2022 by Jessica Van Roekel. All Rights Reserved). Used with permission.



About Jessica Van Roekel

Jessica Van Roekel, authorJessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.

Connect with Jessica: Website / Instagram / Facebook



Feeling scarred by life's rejections? Jessica Van Roekel shares how to heal from the scars of rejection. Learn how to piece your life back together, just like a broken plate, and find healing through faith and trust in God's grace. He’ll lead you on a journey of restoration so you can embrace a life renewed by His healing touch.