Episode Summary:
Let’s face it, parenting teens can be a trying time. We all want to know how to parent teenagers effectively. If you are a parent of teens, or even of young children who will become teens, and want to effectively guide them rather than managing them, today is the perfect show for you. In this episode, we will be talking with Connie Albers, author of “Parenting Beyond the Rules: Raising Teens with Confidence & Joy.”
Today we are going to be talking about the high calling of parenting. After 30 years of parenting five children and 20 years of working with teens, Connie has witnessed the negative impact of well-intentioned but misguided parenting styles, all focused on managing teens rather than guiding them. Connie prefers to raise a teen according to his or her strengths, talents, and personality type in a way that will equip the teen to manage life. In this episode, Connie shares with us how to parent teenagers with confidence and joy.
Connie believes that the teen years are not something to dread. This critical season of our children learning to become adults can be filled with joy and rich relationship by parenting beyond the rules.
In this blog post, Connie shares How To Raise Teenagers with Confidence and Joy.
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Quotables from the Episode:
We should strive to guide our teens, rather than manage them.
The home is one of the best and hardest places to make disciples.
Connie suggests raising teens according to their strengths, talents, and personality types in a way that will equip our teens to manage life.
Kids still need our guidance, even if they don’t think they do.
So often, parents don’t want to parent—they want to be their child’s friend. If you will parent now, you can be your child’s friend later, but if you are your child’s friend now, they will grow to resent you.
Start by getting to know your teen’s world. It is much different than the world the parents grew up in.
Come alongside your child and help them find an area they are passionate about.
If we don’t let our teens stumble and fall when they are within the safe confines of our home, they will stumble and fall after they’ve left the nest and they won’t know how to manage it.
Parents are so naturally good at enforcing rules. But sometimes we have to parent beyond the rules.
As your child grows and matures, you can begin adjusting the rules.
Pray, step back and start listening more to your child, start monitoring your mouth, and ask the Lord to help you discern what your child is trying to communicate to you.
Trust the Lord to give you the wisdom and insight you need to either back off or to approach that child in a different way.
It’s always too soon to give up. It is never too late!
Scripture References:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34)
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
Recommended Resources: (If there are affiliate links in this post, meaning, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no extra cost to you)).
“Parenting Beyond the Rules: Raising Teens with Confidence & Joy“ by Connie Albers
Strengths Explorer
9 Ways to Teach Your Kids to Show Respect
Trusting Our Children to the Father’s Care
8 Simple Prayers to Pray Daily for our Children
Hope Prevails: Insights From a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award.
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award.
Social Media Links for Host and Guest:
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Website / Facebook / Instagram / LinkedIn / Pinterest / Twitter / YouTube
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube
Guest: Connie Albers
Connie has been a spokesperson for Fortune 500 companies as well as serving as a director and board member for a nonprofit state homeschool organization. She is a blogger who engages with parenting, personal development, homeschooling teens, organization, and leadership.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Wonderful, helpful and encouraging interview!! Thank you Dr. Michelle and Connie Albers for sharing your heart and life with teens with us. Even though my children are grown and most of my grandchildren too, I do have two granddaughters who are still at home. One is 15 and one is 5. I know my daughter and son and their spouses appreciate any help and especially Godly help they can receive!!! So blessings on your both for being faithful to the Lord to share and obedient to Him in your work and ministry!! Love and appreciate you both!!
Great podcast. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs ever, but also the most rewarding jobs on the planet. Like how you and Connie brought up the fact that children need parental guidance, not friends…right now, but good parenting will result in good friends later. Teens do experience so many things in our society, especially online bullying. So sad. Thanks for such sound wisdom and insight.
Another GREAT post on parenting teens. So needed! Pinned. Like I wrote before— it takes a village (and a lot of prayer). Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
We definitely need to get to that point where we realize that trying to control teens is not the answer. As they grow we much move from control to influence or as you said guidance.
This sounds wonderful! Thanks for offering Biblical and timely truths that help parents with their role that needs to be countercultural in our day and time.
This quote is what my husband and I tried to live by years ago. “If we don’t let our teens stumble and fall when they are within the safe confines of our home, they will stumble and fall after they’ve left the nest and they won’t know how to manage it.” It has worked. Very good help here for parents of teens! I’m so thankful you are doing what you do.