In this episode, we’re talking about finding hope and calm in the chaos after the loss of a child and how to help a grieving friend. Whether you’ve lost a child to death, or even perhaps lost the dreams you had for your child because of illness or disability, or perhaps you are a friend or loved one to a grieving parent, we want you to know that you are not alone, and that there is hope despite the darkness you may feel.
No one anticipates a child dying, but when that happens, we need to know how to help a grieving friend. We need to know what helps and what doesn’t, what we should say and what we shouldn’t. That’s what Susan shares from her own grief experience.
In this blog post, Susan shares How To Help a Grieving Friend.
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Quotables from the Episode:
God has a purpose for each one of us, and we need to open our hands instead of clenching so tightly what we think is ours.
Everyone is going to experience the death of a loved one.
When I heard my son died, it was like the earth opened up and I fell into the abyss.
In my grief, the longer I looked down at my feet, the blacker it became and I realized I was defeated. The Bible tells us that the enemy of our soul is under our feet, so I was looking at and listening to the liar.
We need to look up and find the light. The light is Jesus.
We should never say “I know exactly how you feel.” It’s better to compassionately say, “I can’t imagine your pain. But I care.”
I challenge people who are grieving to get into the word of God. Let those words wash over you.
If you’ve lost a loved one, particularly a child, there is no shame in weeping. Jesus wept. But remember grief is a process and the timeline is different for everyone.
God can handle our anger. He knows it anyway. He just wants us to keep talking to Him.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)
“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
Recommended Resources: (If there are affiliate links in this post, meaning, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no extra cost to you)).
Dance with Jesus: From Grief to Grace by Susan B. Mead
Hope Prevails: Insights From a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award.
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award.
What Grieving People Wish You Knew about What Really Helps (and What Really Hurts) by Nancy Guthrie
5 Encouraging Words for Mothers Who Have Lost a Child
How To Comfort a Friend Who Has Lost a Child
For more on how to help someone who is grieving, visit Susan Mead’s guest post at this link: How To Help a Grieving Friend.
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Guest: Susan B. Mead
Having lost a son, a sister, a dream and her peace, Susan now lives on mission to help others rebound from personal loss, trauma or difficult seasons in life. In her vibrant up-close-and-personal style, Susan freely shares how her encounters with God, in the midst of gut-wrenching grief, led her to a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him. After Susan lost her youngest son, Kyle, she came to realize that even when things get broken, discarded or replaced, people matter most. It was during this season in life Dance with Jesus: From Grief to Grace was written. Dance with Jesus became a metaphor for discovering joy and has become a source of inspiration helping thousands discover life in the midst of their darkest moments.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
Wonderful! Really looking forward to hearing your voices together! And on such an important topic. And may I chime in with a great resource I ran into last year? Nancy Guthrie has written What Grieving Parents Wish You Knew, and it’s so practical and spot on!
Michele, this is such an important topic, and I think so often we don’t know what to say or do util we’ve been through it. Thank you for sharing Nancy Guthrie’s book–I’ll be adding the to the list of resources to hopefully help others. Thanks for tuning in!
Thank kyou for sharing your story and for the reminder that we should never tell someone we know how they feel. We all feel differently.