Episode Summary:

If you have ever had marriage struggles or have friends or loved ones who struggle in their marriage, or just want to improve your marriage, then today is the perfect show for you.

Today, my guest, Pam Farrel, and I discuss how to thrive, not just survive, in marriage. Relationships are hard, but marriage is on an entirely different level. And sometimes the things we loved about our fiance’ is the same thing that we grow to dislike or resent in marriage. But Pam will discuss how to grow our love for our mate.

In this post, Pam shares about the key to unlocking romance in your marriage: Appreciation: The Key to Unlocking Romance.

Watch on YouTube:



Quotables from the Episode:

  • The Farrels encourage a confident covenant, which are rules of engagement during disagreements.
  • Don’t be interested in just solving a marital problem, but also fall in love with that person again.
  • Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti.
    • Women move from one issue to many different issues, but then tie it all up together, like spaghetti, but men like to keep individual issue in separate boxes, and resolve each box before moving on to another box.
    • Men park in their boxes, often not thinking about anything, while women misinterpret their silence.
  • In olden days, you pulled together because you had to just to survive. So emotional needs were not high on the list at that point. Today we have a different view of survival and includes “Am I feeling satisfied? Am I feeling peaceful? Am I feeling fulfilled?”
  • If our spouse isn’t making us happy, we mistakenly believe someone else out there will.
  • We live in a social media driven society, where we only get to see others’ highlights, and people don’t see the real work that has to be done, and how God meets our needs to pull us through.
  • Valentine’s Day is like a double-edge sword.
  • For singles and widows, get a plan in place before Valentine’s Day. There are many around you who are feeling the same way.
  • Ways to encourage your spouse:
    • Let your spouse you know you admire them.
    • Commend your spouse in front of their friends or colleagues.
    • Warm up to an idea by asking questions for more details of their idea.
    • Let you know you are praying for them.
    • Enthusiastically embrace one of their opinions.
  • It only takes one breakthrough. You’re only one breakthrough away from a stronger relationship.
  • The last thing we should do when we’re struggling in our relationships is to isolate. We need community and the support of others.

Scripture References:

  • Proverbs 19:8 “The one who gets wisdom loves life.”
  • 1 John 4:19 “We love each other because he loved us first.”
  • Ephesians 4:2-3 “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”


Recommended Resources: (If there are affiliate links in this post, meaning, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no extra cost to you)).


Social Media Links for Guest and Host:

Stay connected with Pam Farrel:

Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest / Twitter / Website

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /  Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram Pinterest / YouTube

About Pam Farrel:

Pam Farrel, International Speaker and AuthorPam Farrel, with her husband, Bill, are international speakers, and authors of over 50 books including best-selling Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti. They are relationship specialists and seek to help people become “Love-Wise.” Pam has experience as a Pastor’s wife and Women’s Ministry Director. Pam is a cheerleader, challenger and coach that believes that “The one who gets wisdom loves life.” (Proverbs 19:8) Her new creative Bible studies are Amazon bestsellers: Discovering Hope in the Psalms ; Discovering Joy in Philippians and Discovering Jesus in the Old Testament. When the Farrels are not traveling for speaking, you will find them on their live aboard boat or enjoying their 3 sons, 3 daughters in law and 5 grands. www.Love-Wise.com


Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson


Relationships are hard! If you’ve ever had marriage struggles or you want to improve your marriage, join me with Pam Farrel for how to grow your love for your mate. You can thrive, not just survive, in marriage! #podcast #marriageadvice #Christianmarriage