I saw the look backs and the slight speed up in pace. I saw the confused and suspicious look when I spoke. I heard the gossip and expensive looks.

No one realizes how much those looks cost. Each one of those looks cost a huge amount of trust. Trust that we could have been friends. Trust of being close. No one realizes when they have that look. It’s immediate. Just like the hurtful jokes. Comments that have stuck with me for nearly a year that they forgot after only five seconds. The things that have caused lunches alone and caused me to withdraw. The things that have made me learn how to deal with hurtful comments.

No one teaches a baby to lie. It’s instinctual. But why?

Why is it that our immediate response to a hurtful comment is to retaliate instead of remaining calm?

Why are we so rigid in our beliefs that we end up yelling instead of solving?

How do you handle hurtful comments?

It’s our instinct to lash back out in a fight or flight response. Because we are rarely in a situation where leaving is acceptable, we fire back. Yet what of a third option? Why can we not compliment those who wrong us and love on them?

I know that I have trouble with this. I have trouble with this personally. It is hard to compliment someone who has been mean or hurtful to you. Yet it is possible.

Even if it is something as small as thanking someone for being a running buddy, it is a step. Providing competition is something that people normally don’t realize they are doing but yet they still do. Even something as small as thanking someone for providing that small extra spice of competition can cause a shift in perception.

A thank you can turn into a regular process of doing something together.

A regular process can turn into even a small friendship.

Someone who could have despised you could become your friend if only you turned the cheek.

If only we did not retaliate yet showed kindness.

What is a way you could befriend an enemy?

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.’” Matthew 5:38-40

Have you ever been bullied in school? Read more for how two teens overcame bullying.

The Long Way Home by Neon Feather

Sharing hope for the next generation,

Bryce Bengtson