Dear Dr. B,
I have a child with sensory sensitivity. To say she is a picky eater is putting it mildly! I know getting her to eat a variety of foods is important for her development, but I don’t know how when she refuses to eat what I put in front of her. I’m hoping you can offer me some suggestions.
Pursuing Less Picky Alternatives
Dear Pursuing,
Having a child with sensory sensitivity is a parenting challenge, especially when it comes to textural sensitivity such as with food or clothing. I applaud you for recognizing that variety is important for her development (her growing brain needs a wide variety of different minerals and nutrients!) and for reaching out for support when you don’t have all the answers.
Sometimes children are picky eaters based on texture, other times it’s because of odor, or temperature, or even just the way food looks. See if you can determine what fuels her selectiveness with food.
Remember, we all want to feel in control of our life. This is no different for children. They control very little in their little universe, so frequently they will control what they can: food intake and elimination. Both of which are struggles parents report frequently in my office.
Sometimes offering the same food but at a different temperature will help. So for example, instead of hot scrambled eggs, chopped up hard-boiled eggs will be tolerated.
You might also try experimenting with how you serve the food you desire her to eat. For example, if she won’t eat green foods, you can often slip some in undetected (like chocolate or carob zucchini muffins, or spinach in a fruit smoothy).
Some of my patients refuse to eat meat. Others refuse dairy. Many refuse most vegetables. Unfortunately, in our over-processed culture, we have gotten away from the basics, and have much greater opportunity for our children to sample the more sugary, salty, fatty foods that prior generations rarely ate. The more they have access to those foods, the less their pallet will desire good old fresh food. I’ll never forget the day that my son was exposed to fast-food french fries while on a preschool field trip — it practically undid all the careful planning I had done as a mother to expose him to only healthy options!
If there are certain preferred foods your daughter gravitates to, attempt to give her the most nutritious options within that food set. If she will eat yogurt or drink milk, look for the brands with extra calcium. If she likes bread or crackers, choose whole grain varieties.
Many children just resist change, so even if they like a particular food they may not eat a new brand of that very item. I’d encourage you to continue introducing the new food so that over time, it is no longer new or a change from what she is used to. On that note, if your child is very picky, only work on introducing a few new foods to her pallet at one time. Stick with foods that are the most similar to those she tolerates, and expand from there.
Above all, commit this situation to prayer. God loves and knows your child even better than you do. Seek His guidance and inspiration. Continue to lovingly raise her as the gift she is to you. Take comfort in knowing that as you pursue raising her up, when she is older she will come back to the lessons you’ve taught her.
“Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old
they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6
(If you have a question you’d like Dr. B to answer, contact her here now. Your name and identity will be kept confidential.)
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Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey through Depression
Dr. Michelle Bengtson
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Thank you for pointing us toward our Savior even in the very physical aspects of life and parenting, and for linking up with us at Grace & Truth!
He and His word are our answer to everything. Because of Him, Hope Prevails. Thanks for stopping by, Jennifer!
I love how you point to prayer as a way to navigate this situation. I do believe this makes a difference!
I definitely agree Jennifer. He has the answer we need. He knows the plans He has for us and they are plans to prosper us and not to harm us, to give us a future and a hope. We just need to stay connected. Thanks for visiting.
Thank you for sharing this great post with us at Good Morning Mondays. We are blessed to not have picky eaters, although our youngest son had terrible skin problems and could only eat a few different things, but over time we slowly reintroduced food and encouraged him to try new things as his condition allowed. Now he eats just about everything and we really don’t allow him to be picky but get him to eat a little of the food he doesn’t like and get him to eat it first so he has what he likes to eat last. Thanks again and blessings
Glad to hear that things have improved for your son. What great news!
I love what you mentioned about control. Offering options seem to make such a huge difference for my toddler. Thanks for linking up at MeetUp Monday, and hope to see you again next week!
Thanks Amanda. I hope this helps others who are struggling.
Thank you for sharing these tips on the Art of Home-Making Mondays! 🙂
My pleasure. Thanks for stopping by!
My son had a sensory integration disorder, and to say it was a challenge is putting it mildly. He would not eat bread unless it was toasted otherwise he said it was mushy. But, it had to be freshly toasted and still warm or that was out too. When I did school lunches, I had a bunch of mini cookie cutters that I would use to cut into meat and cheese slices. He loved this. It was fun, and I got healthy food in him–minus the “sandwich issue.” Thanks for sharing at the #HomeMattersParty – we hope to see you again next week. 🙂
~Lorelai
Life With Lorelai
Lorelai, I know what a challenge that is! Good for you for continuing to try new things until you found a system that worked. God created each of us individually, with individual likes, preferences, gifts, and talents. Let’s appreciate the differences while helping our kids learn greater tolerance. Good job, Mom!!
Great suggestions for this mom of a picky eater. The advice at the end to pray was the part that really hit home for me. So glad you are able to add that in along with the practical suggestions. Thank you for sharing this at The Weekend Brew.
Mary, it would go against my nature not to consider seeking God for the answers to everything we face. So often the Bible encourages us to pray about Everything! I believe that includes the health and well-being of our children. Thanks for your encouragement of me to continue sharing my faith with the practical tips I hope to impart after 20 years in the field. I hope you’ll come back to visit.