I’m grateful to welcome my friend and podcast co-host, Rev. Jessica Van Roekel, to share on the blog today. Many women feel intimidated by the Proverbs 31 woman, wondering if she represents an impossible standard. Jessica offers a refreshing perspective on how to make friends with the Proverbs 31 woman and see her instead as a mentor who points us toward a faithful life with God.
4 Tips for How to Make Friends with the Proverbs 31 Woman
By Jessica Van Roekel
In a recent episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective Podcast [How to Learn from the Proverbs 31 Woman Instead of Feeling Shame – Episode 360], I shared that in the past, the Proverbs 31 woman has been someone I resented. I didn’t like to read that chapter in Proverbs because I felt her to be an impossible standard to live up to and questioned whether I really wanted to be like her. She was intimidating, accusing, and too perfect. I know my imperfections all too well, can be a little bit lazy, and don’t have things all together. Too often, I’ve treated the Proverbs 31 woman as my competition, who I could never ever beat. Or I would compare myself to her and realize I would always fall woefully short.
However, I do appreciate knowing women who have lived longer than me and experienced more than me. I long for a Titus 2 woman in my life to encourage me in my pursuit as a woman of God.
Titus 2:3-5 says, “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
How to Make Friends with the Proverbs 31 Woman
Let me offer four tips for how to make friends with the Proverbs 31 woman.
1. See her as a mentor.
First, we can begin to make friends with the Proverbs 31 woman when we approach her like a Titus 2 woman in our life. The Titus 2 woman is wise, kind, productive, loving, and honors God. So does the Proverbs 31 woman. When we view her as a wise, older woman she becomes less intimidating and far more friendly. She becomes someone we can learn from.
2. Link Arms Across Generations.
Second, just as the Titus 2 older woman walks a younger woman through her various seasons of life. The years of young motherhood and learning to love her husband to the years of becoming a Titus 2 older woman herself who mentors a younger woman. This is how women link arms together to become a mighty force for God impacting generation after generation. The Proverbs 31 woman is simply an extension of the Titus 2 woman. Let’s make friends with her so we can contribute to what God wants to accomplish through us.
3. Let the Fear of the Lord Lead.
Third, the key to making friends with the Proverbs 31 woman is found in verse 30, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Making everything we do or say to flow from the desire to honor God in all we do is the best way to allow God to develop with in us his character. By checking our words or actions through the filter of “Does this honor God?” the Proverbs 31 woman becomes less intimidating and far more inspiring to us. She becomes a friend for us to model because of how she makes honoring God her top priority.
4. Look at a Lifetime of Faithfulness.
Finally, we can remember that the Proverbs 31 woman is describing a life of faithfulness. She was faithful to living for God in all her seasons. Rather than looking at her life as a single chapter, split her chapter into seasons. She was faithful through it all and can become our friend who reveals what a faithful life looks like.
A New Way to Think About the Proverbs 31 Woman
We can make friends with the Proverbs 31 woman when we view her like a mentor speaking truth into lives to be faithful. She encourages us to honor God with everything in our hands. She leads us to a deeper relationship with God when we stop looking at her as an impossible standard and see her as an example of a woman who lived her life for God.
How does the Proverbs 31 woman encourage you? We’d love to hear in the comments below.
Have you ever felt intimidated by the Proverbs 31 woman? What if she’s meant to be your mentor, not your competition? Learn how to make friends with the Proverbs 31 woman. Share on X The Proverbs 31 woman isn’t an impossible standard. She’s an example of a faithful life. Here are 4 tips for how to make friends with the Proverbs 31 woman. Share on X
About Rev. Jessica Van Roekel:
Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.
Connect with Jessica: Website / Instagram / Facebook
