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As a parent of two teen boys, nothing would delight me more than knowing how to raise teenagers with confidence and joy. I recently had the opportunity to speak with Connie Albers on another episode of “Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson” about how to raise teenagers well. Connie is the author of Parenting Beyond the Rules: Raising Teens with Confidence & Joy. As a follow-up to that interview, Connie shares a brief excerpt from her book here.
Parenting Beyond the Rules: Raising Teens with Confidence and Joy (excerpt)
By Connie Albers
I collapsed into bed, utterly exhausted after another long night of trying to reason with my son. I replayed and analyzed every part of the conversation, hoping to determine what I might have said or done wrong or discover what I could better next time. I felt a stream of tears run down the side of my face and soak my hairline. I longed to enjoy a relationship with Paul. I didn’t think that was too much to hope for—so why did every encounter backfire on me? It felt like all we did lately was clash. It clearly wasn’t the relationship we enjoyed in his younger years. That was not how I wanted our relationship to be. God, what am I doing wrong?
Not a day went by that I didn’t think about how he was changing. My once compliant child was pushing back on my rules. I hadn’t changed anything, yet my parenting wasn’t working anymore. That’s when I realized parenting wasn’t about the rules and boundaries we establish in our family. Our relationship was being torn apart at the hand of unbending rules.
That’s when I realized when teens change; we adjust. Our teen is a masterpiece in the making, and God gives us the tools we need to paint pictures of possibilities their future. I started to pay attention more and look for ways to create defining moments that would draw us closer together. When we focus on building our relationship, we can maximize our influence.
Don’t forget God will help you create the masterpiece He designed your child to be by painting pictures of possibilities.
Related Reading on Parenting and Children/Teenagers
9 Ways to Teach Your Kids to Show Respect
Trusting Our Children to the Father’s Care
8 Simple Prayers to Pray Daily for our Children
This is an excerpt from Connie’s new book, Parenting Beyond the Rules: Raising Teens with Confidence & Joy. Her book is available wherever books are sold. You can subscribe to her newsletter and learn more about parenting, faith, and motherhood at conniealbers.com or follow her on Facebook at ConnieAlbers.author, Instagram at ConnieAlbers or Twitter @ConnieLAlbers.
I loved this line: Our teen is a masterpiece in the making, and God gives us the tools we need to paint pictures of possibilities their future.
Visiting from #happynowlinkup
Oh thanks Michelle for this post on raising teens. I think that is one of the neediest time in a child’s life, yet so many times at that age they don’t want our input, especially as parents. It truly takes a village. They are all our kids. So, as a parents that has been there, if you see a struggling parent, don’t be afraid to step in, help them out. Many times a teen will take godly advice from an adult other than his or her parents long before they will take that same advice from their parents. Thanks for these reminders. Pinned and tweeted. Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
Momming a 14 year old girl, I need all the help I can get. Visiting you today from the instaencouragements link up. laurensparks.net
Whoa! Parenting 4 teen boys has been amazing for my prayer life!