Dear Dr. B,
I heard recently that women are more likely to be depressed. Is that true? What does that say about me if I’m a depressed man?
Unlikely-But-Afflicted
Dear Afflicted,
Is it true? Are women more depression-prone?
Statistics suggest that more women are Diagnosed with depression. That doesn’t tell the entire story, however. Women are, by nature, more likely to seek out help for everything from directions to depression. And women are often the ones to encourage their male loved-ones to seek medical attention for sleep apnea to heart attacks.
Men and women both suffer from the painful condition of depression.
So those statistics are based on the numbers of individuals actually diagnosed with depression. In order to be diagnosed with depression, an individual must first seek medical attention. And in order to seek medical attention, one must be willing to admit that there might be a problem.
Unfortunately, even though women are more likely to be diagnosed with depression, a high percentage of men also suffer from this painful condition.
There is no reason to be ashamed of suffering from depression.
But if I can encourage you for a moment, there is no more reason to be ashamed of depression than there is of allergies or high blood pressure. They are all medical conditions that require treatment in order to avoid more devastating effects in the long run.
Sometimes, however, it takes a loving spouse, friend, or sibling to lovingly encourage our men to seek medical attention.
I applaud you for admitting, at least to yourself and to me, that you are “afflicted” as you say.
Admitting we have an area of difficulty is the precursor to getting help and finding hope.
It takes courage to make such an admission. I pray you’ll use that same courage to seek appropriate treatment so that you won’t continue to suffer in silence.
I’m cheering you on!
Hope Prevails,
DrB
(If you have a question you’d like Dr. B to answer, contact her here now. Your name and identity will be kept confidential.)
Depression doesn’t have to become a permanent part of life.
There is hope.
Hope Prevails: Insights From a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression and the companion Hope Prevails Bible Study help the reader understand how depression comes to be, recover their joy, reclaim their peace, and re-establish their true identity, while knowing their worth, remembering their secure destiny, and being confident that nothing separates them from God’s love.
Hope Prevails and the Hope Prevails Bible Study are must-reads for anyone suffering from depression or knows someone suffering from depression.
“It is refreshing to have a board-certified neuropsychologist acknowledge the spiritual component of depression, but it is even more impressive that Dr. Bengtson would be willing to share her own journey through the fog of despair. Her personal insights are invaluable for those who are struggling with what is often described as ‘the common cold of mental illness.’” ~ Dr. Neil T. Anderson, founder and president emeritus of Freedom in Christ Ministries and Author of Overcoming Depression
Dr. Michelle,
I’m so glad you answered that way! I know men who fall into both categories: those who’ve gotten help and those in denial. As an individual who has experienced depression and various other mental illnesses from various perspectives, I am a huge advocate for getting help.
Thanks Carrie Ann! Unfortunately, I think we’ve socialized men to feel that they have to remain tough, not show “weakness” by admitting to problems, and solve problems rather than seek help. I hope we’re beginning to see that change. They deserve to be healthy too!
I like this. Men are conditioned to be believe they are weak if they admit any shortcomings, so it is harder for them to seek help. Of course, they hold way too much inside and become depressed just as women do. It is wonderful that you let men know it is okay to seek help.
Thanks Mary. I’m a firm believer that God desires that we would ALL be in health-men and women alike. As women, we owe it to our fathers, brothers, husbands, sons, and friends to support them in their quest for health and mental health!
I just spoke with someone yesterday who was feeling rather blue. We all need to seek out help when we need it.
That’s so true Jann! There is no shame in seeking out help for it any more than there is seeking out help for high blood pressure or diabetes. It’s my hope to help break down the stigma of mental health one patient, one blog post, one book, one speaking engagement at a time!
I love when a man is able to recognize his own emotional state. Hopefully more and more men will continue to grow in their ability to reach out for help when they need it, instead of having to live up to the old “strong silent man” stereotype. There is such strength in realizing we all need each other!
Having lived my whole life with anxiety and depression, I know how hard it was to admit I needed help. It also took a long time for me to realize and truly believe mental illness is just that – an illness. My son also suffers, but he is so reluctant to taking medicine to help the depression. He chooses a more dangerous and destructive course – to self medicate with things that are not good for his body. Medicine is not a “crutch.” Thank you for speaking up and out. Perhaps the more we do so, the sooner any lingering stigma about mental illness will disappear.
Blessings,
Bev xx