In my personal life, my professional life, and my spiritual growth, I have benefited from the presence of a mentor to walk alongside me. That’s why I was excited to talk with Jayme Hull about how mentoring can change your life and help prevent loneliness on a recent episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective Podcast. Jayme shares more about mentoring with how to begin your mentoring relationship and never be lonely again.
Be sure to read to the end for a special 2 book giveaway!
How To Begin Your Mentoring Relationship and Never Be Alone Again
By Jayme Hull
Have you ever said, “Something’s missing . . . and I’m not sure what? I’m searching for Jesus and desperate to find Him somehow amid all the noise. I feel so alone. Who can I talk to?” All of us need someone to come alongside us to support us as well as have the hard conversations, rather than sugarcoating reality. I believe that the single most important influence in your life, no matter what season you are in, is who’s mentoring you and regularly pouring into your life. When you begin your mentoring relationship, that helps you become the godly individual you were created to be, you will never be alone again.
My prayer is that you’ll discover the life-giving potential of mentoring relationships for yourself and feel the speed of your personal growth in the Lord, take off. I promise I’m not being dramatic when I say this single connection has the potential to shape the trajectory of your life more than any other factor I know of. Be encouraged that it’s not only possible to connect with a mentor, but also critical to become your best you.
What Is Mentoring?
Perhaps you’ve heard the term before in business or academic settings, but the Christian community is often behind the curve here. While we tend to emphasize your professionals’ groups and women’s Bible studies, mentoring is an entirely different experience.
A mentor is an individual, further along in their walk with God than you are, and growing, who sees your potential and walks with you in becoming the person God created you to be. They are willing and available to meet with you one-on-one each week. They offer a listening ear, honest feedback, and spiritual encouragement as you navigate your faith journey. (Titus 2:3-5)
How To Find a Mentor?
I want to encourage you to begin praying and asking God to lead you to the person He would select for you in your new mentoring relationship. Finding a mentor or mentee will require you to be courageous and step out of your comfort zone. It’s very important that you welcome the uncomfortable and start the conversation.
How To Start a Conversation?
- Seek God’s guidance and open your eyes to those around you.
- Listen and ask good questions.
- Be authentic and approachable.
- Is there someone in your church community or small group you admire and could see yourself having important conversations with on a regular basis?
- Move forward. Take the next step and walk across the room.
- Introduce yourself and begin the conversation. Remember Matthew 10:19b
“God will give you the right words to say.”
- Make an invitation for a short meeting over coffee the following week
5 Key Habits to Help you build a Healthy Mentoring Relationship
Are you thinking, what do I say and do now that I’m beginning a new mentoring relationship? Start simple. Share your God stories, your struggles, your dreams. One of my favorite take action verses is from Ezra 10:4: “Rise up: this matter is in your hands…so take courage and do it.”
Here we go:
- Be authentic
A mentoring relationship should be a safe place to talk about absolutely anything without embarrassment or fear. Take time to reflect on, talk out, and pray together about where you’re at and what you want to move forward as you grow and learn to apply God’s Word to your life situations. (Ephesians 4:25 NIV)
- Be teachable
Humility is critical. Admit where you don’t have life figured out. Ask for input and godly advice. Identify where you want to grow spiritually. Proverbs says, “Without good direction, people lose their way… Take good counsel and accept correction—that’s the way to live wisely and well.” (Proverbs 11:14, 19:20 MSG)
- Be open to the Holy Spirit
You likely won’t agree with everything said, and that’s okay. Neither one of you are perfect. You are on this faith journey together and learning together. Learn from each other’s stories, life experiences, and mistakes. Pray before, during and after your sessions for the Holy Spirit to guide and protect your conversations. (Galatians 5:25 NASB)
- Be respectful and grateful
Mentoring is not a one-way street. Both women will need to listen and seek to understand each other and pray together with a grateful heart. During your one-hour session try to put away all distractions and anything that will hinder your focus on the conversation and the move of the Holy Spirit. (Colossians 4:2 NIV)
- Be face-to-face
With today’s technology, you can certainly communicate using tools like Facetime or Zoom, especially with our difficult work schedules. But I believe that nothing can replace a real, live face-to-face conversation. One-on-one and face-to-face is still the best way to grow. (Proverbs 27:17 NIV)
How Will You Respond to The Mentoring Invitation?
Let’s start a movement. Let’s commit together to be there for each other as godly women—not just as a checklist or in theory, but in the messy and painful and wonderful moments of life. Let’s build a culture of supporting and nurturing and loving and celebrating the individuals God created us to be. Let’s listen and encourage and empower and speak life.
Now it’s your turn.
Give yourself away.
Seek wise godly counsel.
Surround yourself with godly women you can learn from.
Begin your new mentoring relationship and never be alone again.
Have you ever had or been a mentor? We’d love to hear what your experience was like in the comments below.
About Jayme Hull
JAYME HULL is a speaker and author of Face To Face: Discover How Mentoring Can Change Your Life with Moody Publishers and Side By Side: 8 Conversations To Build Your Confidence In Christ An 8-Week Bible Study to encourage women to stop avoiding the tough conversations and begin talking with the God of hope. She is also the host of Face to Face Mentoring Podcast. Jayme is a graduate of New York University and a Certified Spiritual Direction Coach with the Blackaby Ministries International. She has spent a lifetime mentoring and training hundreds of Christian women to connect with God and others through a mentoring relationship. Her passion is to encourage others to invest in the next generation and make a positive difference in today’s culture. Jayme and her husband call the Nashville area their home and have three married children and 6 happy grandkids.
Connect with Jayme: Website / Facebook / Instagram / Twitter / Pinterest
Book Giveaway (2 Books!)
In conjunction with this post and the podcast interview, How Mentoring Can Change Your Life and Even Help You Overcome Loneliness – Episode 164, Jayme Hull is giving away a free copy of two of her books, Face To Face: Discover How Mentoring Can Change Your Life and Side By Side: 8 Conversations To Build Your Confidence In Christ.
Leave a comment below sharing with us one thing you learned about beginning a mentoring relationship and you will be entered into the contest for your chance to win a copy of one of her books.
You could also share this blog post on Facebook, Pinterest, or Twitter then comment here to tell us where you shared it and you’ll also be entered into the drawing.
The winner will be selected at random and announced next Monday, June 13, 2022. Continental United States only.
I had a mentor when I worked for a Fortune 500 company. She was an excellent resource and helped me to move forward with my career. I was also a mentor in my professional career and enjoyed being able to help the person I mentored.
Excellent Edwina! How wonderful to receive and give away the blessing of mentoring. Never stop!
I was in the most vulnerable time of my entire life when someone became my mentor. It was wonderful and I was making great progress dealing with serious personal issues and in my walk with Christ. Suddenly things changed in my mentors life. Things that had nothing to do with me. With no explanation, they quit speaking to me completely and walked away. Believing that God loved me had been a struggle for me. Bc of serious abuse, trust had been hard.
When they walked away, I was devastated..completely. I felt absolutely worthless. It has taken two years to recover and I don’t think I can ever trust any one again.
Sandy, I’m so sorry you had such a bad experience with your mentor. Thank you for sharing your heart and being gut-honest with your comments. It is so disappointing when people let us down and there is no explanation or communication. Dealing with the loss of a special relationship is beyond sad. It’s wrong and hurts. But I want to encourage you. You are not alone. I too had this happen at the beginning of my ministry, but in the opposite way. I had a mentee walk away from me after many years of meeting face to face, without any further communication, and it still lays heavy on my heart. But God!
I’m so thankful you recognize and believe that the change in your mentors life had nothing to do with you. That statement is truth. Your second sentence is key to your situation and where your hope lies. Let me explain. You acknowledge two very positive things: the mentoring relationship was going well and most importantly, you were making great progress in your walk with Christ. Hallelujah! Making progress in your walk with Christ is what we hope will happen in a mentoring relationship. Praise the Lord you were and are still growing. Now. What’s next?
I want to encourage you. God sees you. He created you and knows you by name. You are not invisible. He is your El Roi (Genesis 16:13). God wants you to trust Him and other godly women again. Honestly, it is a day-by-day and moment-by-moment choice.
For me, if I would have given up and never tried or trusted again, I would have been out of God’s call on my life and missed all of the daily blessings from my countless mentoring relationships. I encourage you to continue growing and trusting in the Lord.
Remember, the enemy the devil HATES when we grow and mature in the Lord. He only has one plan with three steps for anyone growing in their walk with Christ: he plans to isolate you, manipulate you and intimidate you.
So, I encourage you to FIGHT the enemy. Rejoice. Today is a new day! Dig into God’s Word. Be determined to trust others again and claim Genesis 50:20 every day until you believe it: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Praying for you!
I am convinced that I need to have a mentor to help me through the process of my divorce. It’s been so many years since
I’ve had the time to concentrate on what the Lord intends to do in me in the midst of this process. I tried to be a good witness to the Lord during my 24 year marriage, but critical remarks, put downs and controlling behavior has brought on health issues and I needed to be near my son and his family in order to gain prespective. God has been providing me with good fellowship at a Bible Study as well as several local churches, but I sense I need to find stability in my growth in Christ to be able to withstand the enemy’s barrage of spiritual attacks as I find a new way to live as a single person. Thank you for your explanation of mentoring that can keep me balanced and relying on the Holy Spirit.
Kathleen, Be encouraged. God has a mentoring relationship for you and will guide you every step of the way. Continue to lean on the Holy Spirit for your inspiration and insight. You will never be disappointed in the Lord. Be blessed!
Thank you Jayme for sharing with us. I love the podcast and this blog. I took part in a mentoring program at our church many years ago which was my first actual mentoring experience. I was in my 40’s and the mentee’s (there were 3 over a couple of years) were young moms with pretty young children. Our time was centered around a Bible Study each time. I still stay in touch with two of the ladies I mentored. We had a precious relationship. So much that you shared, Jayme, I learned during those mentoring relationships: listening, sharing God’s moments and what I had learned during my time with my children at home. I had one child in the military and one married at the time. I am going to share this blog on FB and I also shared the podcast post on Facebook. I would love your books but will be excited for whoever gets them. Thank you, Michelle, for your precious insights also as I know you have also had mentors as you shared.
Loved this interview and shared it on Pinterest and Twitter!
Thank you so much!