“Have I done something to upset you or hurt you?” I inquired with genuine concern.
The response was hurtful and grieved my heart. I hadn’t gone through anything so personally painful in a very long time.
A sister in Christ accused me of doing something I didn’t do, and having impure motives. To make matters worse, when I approached her to ask if I had done anything to harm our relationship, first she lied and said I hadn’t, but then came back after the fact to list my supposed infractions. And to throw salt in the wound, she closed the door, leaving no way for the issue to be discussed further or resolved, saying “We love you, but from afar.”
It felt like my heart had been ripped out, thrown down to the lowest depths, and shattered in a million pieces.
Dumbfounded, I shared the basic details with a couple of my closest friends, seeking their wisdom and guidance. While they were appalled by the incredulous way I had been treated by a fellow sister in the Lord, they maintained association with my accuser, leaving me to feel they implicitly supported not only her but her leadership style.
I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I wept many tears over the situation. I was not used to being falsely accused, and having my integrity bashed in such an open way, left me crying out to the Lord for He knew the truth. There was nothing more I could do other than trust that He still loved me and He would be my defender.
Has anyone ever wrongly accused you of something? Or have you ever felt ashamed of something you have done? Or perhaps hadn’t done but were perceived to have?
Shame and accusation remind me of my frequent early Texas morning experience when I venture out the front door in the pre-dawn light, only to run straight into a silk-laden cobweb created in the dark of night while I slept. It never mattered what I did; it seemed I couldn’t shake it off or peel it off. It entangled me.
Accusation, condemnation, shame, and guilt do not come from our heavenly father. They are traps of the enemy of our soul, who delights in seeing us destroyed and seeks to help us finish the job.
The enemy casts accusation and condemnation on us and he also convinces us to accuse others, ourselves, and God. He then wraps it up in a shame- and guilt-filled bow.
God has never desired to judge us. Rather, His desire has always been to bless us. In fact, the first account we read of God’s blessings in the Bible was after He created Adam and Eve. He declared them very good, blessed them, and commanded them to be fruitful and multiply.
Yet the enemy would like to cause us to look over our shoulders, quaking in shame and fear of God’s judgment.
John 3:16 is one of the most well-known verses in the Bible:
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
Children often learn to recite this verse before they learn any other verse.
Our salvation depends on its truth.
Yet so often I think we miss the important message that comes next:
“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:17 NIV).
God’s goal has never been to shame us, judge us, or condemn us. His purpose has been to love us, accept us, bless us, and save us, all the while drawing us unto Himself.
For many years I walked under a cloud of shame and guilt for things I had done—it didn’t matter how big or little, or whether anyone else knew or not. I allowed it to negatively impact what I thought of myself, and felt certain that since I was disappointed in myself, surely God was also.
Over time, and after many tears were shed in despair, God revealed it is the enemy of our soul who judges us, accuses us, and shames us. In his deceitful whispers, he first tempts us to engage in such behavior, and then accuses us of our mistakes and faults, shaming us when he reminds us of them later.
Yet God’s truth trumps the enemy’s lies. God declared, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1).
God sent Jesus because He knew that since the days of Adam and Eve in the garden, we were incapable of perfection. He allowed Jesus to pay the penalty for our mistakes because He loves us so much that He couldn’t bear to be separated from us for all eternity.
What a weight that lifted off me. When He looks on us, He doesn’t regard us with shame—He sees royal heirs to the throne, whom He is lovingly grooming and training for that day when we will see Him face to face in His mansion of glory. God wants you to know, you are not your mistakes, and your mistakes have been forgiven.
“I am writing to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.” 1 John 2:12
And in those times when you have been unjustly accused, God will be your defender.
“The Lord is your mighty defender, perfect and just in all his ways; Your God is faithful and true; he does what is right and fair.” Deuteronomy 32:4
Furthermore, don’t worry and don’t be afraid. God will fight for you.
“Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you.”
Deuteronomy 3:22
What lies have you believed that have kept you a slave to shame? Will you exchange them for God’s truth today?
Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Depression doesn’t have to become a permanent part of life.
There is hope.
Hope Prevails: Insights From a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression and the companion Hope Prevails Bible Study help the reader understand how depression comes to be, recover their joy, reclaim their peace, and re-establish their true identity, while knowing their worth, remembering their secure destiny, and being confident that nothing separates them from God’s love.
Hope Prevails and the Hope Prevails Bible Study are must-reads for anyone suffering from depression or knows someone suffering from depression.
I love those verses about God being our defender and that he came not to condemn but to save. Great reminders of truth! Visiting as your neighbour at Porch Stories.
Yes! God is our defender and redeemer! It has taken me many years to let go and let God in those times that I feel I am being judged or misrepresented by friends or family. I no longer react or respond but turn to God. Thank you for reminding me of these truths!
I love this, Michelle. Thank you for so openly sharing this. I am praying your heart finds healing. I too have experienced this, it is haaard to go through. You are right, we are not alone though and God knows our hearts.
I love the truth of Romans 8: No condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus!
So thankful for the truth of God’s forgiveness and grace.
How painful that must have been. I’ve been wrongly accused before too, and it cut me so deeply. I love this truth about God that you point out: “When He looks on us, He doesn’t regard us with shame—He sees royal heirs to the throne.” Amen!
When I was young teenager, my mother was falsely accused of an unthinkable act by a lady at our church. This lady appeared to have a close, deep relationship with the Lord, so for her to react in such a way took my mom completely by surprise. I watched my mother struggle deeply with the whole thing. As Christians, we have forgiven, therefore we must forgive and exemplify Christ at all times. Otherwise, there is no telling how deep the damage might be later.
Oh, I’ve been in that place. That place of being judged unjustly. It hurts so deeply. Knowing who we are in Christ is the only way to walk through those hard places in relationships.
My family and I are still working through the pain of rejection, false accusations and slander with no way for reconciliation to occur until and if God ever convicts those standing in arrogance of their sin. It has been one of the hardest experiences our family has had to face. Thank you for these encouraging words!
Those wounds of false accusations run deep. Thankfully, nothing is ever too deep that it is beyond the healing touch of the Lord. Thanks for sharing on Grace and Truth.
Michelle,
This is something that cuts to the heart. Thanks for your candid retelling of such a time you faced. I have recently been falsely accused of something and people don’t understand why it bothers me when it is so far from the truth. There’s just something about being misunderstood. Praying God brings healing to your situation and restoration if possible.
Your neighbour at #SoulSurvival
~Sherry Stahl
xoxo
I loved this reminder: God has never desired to judge us. Rather, His desire has always been to bless us.. Thanks for linking up at the #LMMLinkup this week.
I spent a week in Texas this summer, and those spider webs! They are AWFUL! They covered all the trails I wanted to walk in the wildlife refuges.
This message is so good and brought back memories of a time when we were rejected, both of us, as leaders with the Seniors at our church. We planned yearly trips to conferences for them and tried to keep the cost as low as possible so the widows could save all year to go. A man in the group decided he wanted to do things more expensive, go more places, etc. So when we had our meeting for the trip, as a group they decided they didn’t want our trip. We had done the trips for 10 years. So when they rejected the proposed trip, we gathered our things and walked out. They said, BUT We love you!! What they didn’t know and we realized as we walked out the door is that the Lord used this situation to change our ministry direction and we entered our years of SINGLE ADULT ministry. We were hurt, we thought they were wrong, but we left it in Father’s hands. A couple years later the man came to us and apologized. He didn’t realize how much work it was to do trips and they did not turn out as he had thought. Father healed our hearts and redirected our path. Praise His Name!!!
Karen, I’m so glad to hear that God healed your hearts. Oh how it hurts to be rejected, even when the one doing the rejecting is wrong. I praise God for all your years of ministry.