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Episode Summary:

If you’ve ever struggled with forgiveness—whether that’s forgiving others, forgiving yourself, or even struggling with feeling forgiven by God—then this episode is for you. Jessica and I are talking about The Role of Forgiveness in Healing the Brain and Heart.

Quotables from the episode:

  • Science and scripture both affirm that forgiveness is vital for emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Forgiveness is more than a feeling—it’s a powerful decision that can transform your life.
  • This topic is close to my heart because I’ve seen firsthand how forgiveness can set people free. I know many of our listeners and viewers carry deep wounds, and my prayer is that today’s conversation will bring encouragement and hope.
  • Forgiveness is essential because it aligns us with God’s heart. We were created for relationships, but when hurt enters the picture, it creates emotional and spiritual wounds.
  • Unforgiveness keeps us bound to that pain. It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer.
  • From a scientific perspective, studies show that holding onto unforgiveness increases stress hormones like cortisol, which negatively impacts brain function, weakens the immune system, and can even contribute to depression and anxiety.
  • When we forgive, we release that toxic load, allowing our brains and bodies to function in a state of peace.
  • As a neuropsychologist, I’ve also seen how unforgiveness affects brain chemistry. It triggers the fight-or-flight response, keeping us in a constant state of stress which can lead to depression, anxiety, discouragement, fear, even anger.
  • But when we choose to forgive, our brain rewires itself toward healing and restoration.
  • For years, I thought holding onto that anger would somehow hold the other person accountable. But instead, it only held me captive. When I finally chose to forgive, I experienced a peace I hadn’t known in years. And the beautiful thing was, God used that forgiveness to bring healing to my heart in ways I never expected.
  • One of the biggest myths is that forgiveness means excusing or condoning what happened.
  • Forgiveness is not saying that what happened was okay. It doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending it never happened. Instead, it’s releasing the burden of justice to God. Romans 12:19 reminds us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
  • Another myth is that we have to feel ready to forgive before we do it. But forgiveness is an act of obedience, not an emotion. Often, the feelings follow the decision.
  • Jesus didn’t tell us to forgive when we felt like it. He commanded us to forgive because He knows the weight it lifts off our souls. And something amazing happens when we take that step of obedience—our hearts begin to soften, and healing begins.
  • The process of forgiveness starts with prayer. We have to be honest with God about our pain and ask Him for the strength to forgive. Then, we choose to release the offense. Sometimes, it’s a one-time decision; other times, it’s a daily process of surrendering it to God until the pain no longer has power over us.
  • And sometimes, we need to verbalize forgiveness, even if it’s just between us and God. Saying, “Lord, I choose to forgive [person’s name] for [specific hurt]” helps solidify the decision in our hearts.
  • And one of the hardest but most powerful steps is praying for the person who hurt us. Jesus told us in Matthew 5:44, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” It’s hard at first, but it shifts our hearts from bitterness to compassion.
  • Forgiveness is not about the other person—it’s about your own freedom. It doesn’t mean what they did was right, but it means you’re choosing to release the burden and trust God with justice. Take it one step at a time, and know that you are never alone in the process.

Scripture References:

  • Romans 12:19 reminds us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

 

Recommended Resources: (If there are affiliate links in this post, meaning, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission (at no extra cost to you)).

 

Have you struggled to forgive or receive God’s forgiveness? Learn what science and Scripture reveal about the role of forgiveness in healing the brain and heart. Share on X What impact does forgiveness really have on your brain, your body, and your soul? Learn how letting go of offense can restore peace, renew relationships, and improve mental and physical health. Share on X

 

Social Media Links for Host and Co-Host:

Connect with Co-Host Reverend Jessica Van Roekel:

Website / Instagram / Facebook

 

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Sacred Scars / Order book The Hem of His Garment / Order book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  / Order Book Hope Prevails Bible Study /  Website  /  Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

 

Co-Host:

Jessica Van Roekel, authorJessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.

 

 

 

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson

 

What impact does forgiveness really have on your brain, your body, and your soul? Jessica and I explore the role of forgiveness in healing the brain and heart—and how letting go of offense can restore peace, renew relationships, and improve mental and physical health.

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