Have you ever longed to be part of the group? To be noticed? Accepted?
I’ve been there. Wanting to be accepted, included, validated.
At a women’s conference, I hoped for the wisdom of a mature woman in the faith for my current heart’s cry. I stood in front of her, waiting in line to have just a few moments of her time.
There were four people ahead of me. I patiently watched as she spoke to the first woman, then gave her a validating hug. She spoke to the second woman, and accepted her in a warm embrace. The same thing happened to the third and the fourth woman. Then it was my turn. She looked at me, said “Hello,” then walked away.
If I could have been an observer, I’m sure I would have seen my jaw drop. I was stunned. I returned to my seat, and though it was a little thing, tears stung the back of my eyes.
I felt rejected and discarded; unworthy of her time. And yet, was I really that different from the four women before me?
“Lord, what just happened here?”
As I processed the brief encounter in prayer, I realized I had a choice to make. I could choose to be hurt and offended, or I could extend grace and recognize that she is a human being just like me, who gets distracted, and in whom the enemy uses to inflict pain even when we don’t realize it.
In that moment, I had to choose not to pick up a spirit of offense, but instead offer forgiveness and grace. For if I didn’t, bitterness and resentment would build within my heart, and cause my normally tender heart to turn to stone.
Yet, I continued to examine what the real issue was. It’s what we all want, really. We are born with an innate desire to be loved, accepted, and found worthy.
In that brief encounter of a mere moment, I heard the enemy say, “You’re not worthy. You’re not as good as the others before you. You won’t ever be a part of the ‘in-group.’”
I had to choose to refute the enemy’s lies with God’s truth which affirms me: “To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved” (Ephesians 1:6).
God accepts me, and you, just as we are. He loves us perfectly, and wouldn’t love us any more or any less no matter what we did.
But maybe, just maybe, God didn’t create me, or you, to be part of the group, but to stand out for Him, and to offer His love and acceptance.
Because of Him, #HopePrevails
(If you have a question you’d like Dr. B to answer, contact her here now. Your name and identity will be kept confidential.)
A short brief about Hope Prevails.
Hope Prevails
Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey through Depression
Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Speaking from personal and professional experience, a neuropsychologist unpacks what depression is, shows how it affects us spiritually, and offers hope for living the abundant life.
Neuropsychologist Offers Hope to Those Struggling with Depression
-By 2020, depression will be our greatest epidemic worldwide
- An estimated 350 million people worldwide suffer from some form of depression
- Helpful features include personal stories, biblical truths, prayers, and music recommendations
In Hope Prevails, Dr. Bengtson writes with deep compassion and empathy, blending her extensive training and faith, to offer readers a hope that is grounded in God’s love and grace. She helps readers understand what depression is, how it affects them spiritually, and what, by God’s grace, it cannot do. The result is a treatment plan that addresses the whole person—not just chemical imbalances in the brain.
For those who struggle with depression and those that want to help them, Hope Prevails offers real hope for the future.
Hope Prevails is available now wherever books are sold. To find out more, see: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/.
Having deep areas of rejection as a child, this was battleground for so much of my life. We seek value and acceptance from others and feel the bitter sting when they don’t live up to our standards of “acceptance”. Until we understand our value in His eyes, it’s a vicious cycle begging to be broken.
Blessings!!
Esther
Ugh. What a hard moment to feel rejected like that. I’m sure we’ve all experienced something similar and it is very difficult to not fall into a spirit of offense. I’m glad you were able to shake it off and realize your acceptance comes from God. Thanks for sharing this with us so we also can learn from it.
Thank you, Dr. Michelle Bengtson. Sharing our own insecurities, wounds, & struggles helps break the strongholds of negative thoughts & the enemy’s lies. Isolation & loneliness are ways the enemy preys upon us. It’s so important for us to study & learn scriptures, so we can fight the lies with God’s Truth. We’re all on this journey together.
his is an excellent article full of truth. Thank you so much for sharing. I will be pinning and sharing this. Such a needed discussion that will help defeat the lies of the enemy! #MondayLiteracyLinkUp
I’m glad to know I’ve been accepted into the beloved. I don’t have to be offended, it’s my choice.
We’ve all been there, haven’t we?! It’s so important to realize we have already been accepted by Christ! Thanks for reminding us. Blessings!
Visiting from Coffee for your heart- glad to be your neighbour today as I think I needed this reminder! It is easy to fall into looking for acceptance from other people and when we don’t receive it as we hope the enemy can definitely use that against us. Thanks for this reminder that we can choose how we respond and that we need to be seeking our acceptance in God.
Thank you for sharing. Yes, we have all had these times of discouragement. This is how Satan works very often to try to dim our view. He knew exactly what you were feeling inside and the desire to feel the good feelings. Therefore he planted this little incidence to make you doubt, and be tempted with the thoughts of being unacceptable. My thinking: The reason that this person acted the way she did, could have been their own weakness of letting her mind drift to other things that were bothering her as well and did not even realize what she had done.
I believe we must watch and pray to be aware of how the bad one wants to make us stumble. Jesus has promised our deliverance.
Good Morning Michelle!
Oh the sting of not feeling accepted. I’m really coming to the conclusion that when things like this happen it’s often God coordinating the circumstances so I look to Him and not others for my validation. Wish I was going to get to see you at GMS. I’m speaking at a conference here in Canada next weekend and won’t be attending. I’ll miss seeing you 🙂
Stopping by via Deb Wolfe’s Linkup.
Praying you continue to sense God’s direction as you forage ahead in the great plans God has for you as you lead many and show the way.
Be Blessed & Refreshed,
~Sherry Stahl
xoxo
Joining you from Sacred Ground, Sticky Floors! I kept seeing the words “choice” and choose” as I read your story. It’s a word God has shown me in Scripture and writing for a long time. I appreciated too how you said you prayed through the situation before responding. There’s a lot of wisdom in this post!
Oh man, that is experience is so awful and something I hope I never do to someone else… let alone have done to me. So funny, to read your post because my topic for next Tuesday’s perseverance series is about rejection – ugh – Anyway, I do apologize for my lateness in commenting…. I was speaking at a retreat this past weekend and I am just now working on getting to my comments from last weeks #TuneInThursday Thank you so much for linking up each week.
I have felt like this quite a few times. The situation you experienced would’ve been hard for anyone. I have known people at church who seem to be really chatty and happy with a bunch of people, then they either don’t talk to me or won’t even say ‘hi’ when we pass in the halls. When I was younger this was really hard for me. As I’ve gotten older and had new realizations I see things differently now, but I know that there are a lot of people, especially in a church setting, who often feel lonely or ignored and need a friend. The best thing that changed things for me was realizing that other people were hurting and I needed to make sure they had a smile and someone to talk to. When I focused on that instead of how a few people weren’t talking to me, that changed my whole attitude.
I felt rejection as a child. Now 38 years later I’m trying to learn how much God loves me and what He bases His love on. What’s amazing is the cross shows His love for me and I don’t have to earn it. He looks best me forever unconditionally.
#Faith’nFriends
Goodness, this hits home!!! I lived with fear most of my life receiving rejection and believing that I failed because I wasn’t perfect and wasn’t loved because I wasn’t perfect. I have felt the sting of rejection. I worked in a doctor’s office as one of his nurses, preparing patients for his exam, etc and loved my job and was very attentive to it. I didn’t sit around with some of the other ladies and gossip or be lazy. Well, things did not go well at the office because I was different since I did my job. Time came for me to leave and help the doctor in other areas of his work. On my last day there was no goodbye party or even a goodbye spoken. I just walked out the door. I thought, I have a choice, I can be upset and feel rejected or I can know that I did the best I could at the job and I made a difference. So I chose to be thankful for my time there and to be happy for the new work I got to do and forgive the people at the office. I never looked back and received many blessings in the new job.. I want to stand out and stand up for Jesus!! Thanks so much for this great reminder!! Love and appreciate you!!