Like captives in isolated dungeons, we struggle in silence with shame and discouragement, significance and identity issues. Many of us suffer attacks of our enemy while believing we do so alone. You are not alone.
We have all struggled with shame and/or discouragement from time to time, haven’t we? In a recent episode of Your Hope Filled Perspective, I had the opportunity to chat with counselor and coach, Tina Yeager, about hope for overcoming discouragement and shame. If you missed that episode, [Hope for Overcoming Shame and Discouragement – Episode 116] to listen in. I asked Tina to share more of her experience when she learned to stop struggling in silence with shame and discouragement.
Read to the end for a book giveaway!
Struggling in Silence with Shame and Discouragement
By Tina Yeager
The scowling nurse slid the scale levers further. And further. She scrawled on my chart. My head drooped, as if all the extra weight had come from the blood rushing to my face.
I shuffled down the obstetrics hallway with my gaze fixed on the scuffed linoleum. I had starved myself for eight years, hoping to fade into “thin” air, if possible. But in the past few months I gained back twice my original size.
So much for striving to be the sort of beautiful that others might accept.
Instead, I saw myself in very different terms.
My purpose, in motherhood and otherhood, lay chained with me in that dungeon of “un” defined identity. I couldn’t have helped another soul from within the darkness of self-enmity. Neither in my home or beyond the threshold.
The Lord pursued me and guided my soul to freedom and purpose. He equipped me with truth weapons and divine armor against the darkness. Despite ongoing challenges, Christ poured life and restoration through me. He also compelled me to share the map from despair to triumph. Especially when I couldn’t ignore the vast number of sisters who shared my pain.
In story after story, women I counsel in my therapy and coaching practices also struggle with similar issues of significance and identity, shame and discouragement. I realized we all suffer the attacks of our enemy while believing we do so alone. Like captives in isolated dungeons, we struggle in silence.
Beyond my office, even further than the speaking event venues to which I could travel, countless women despaired of hope. So, I plunged the stylus of my calling into the inkwell of my heart. Through years of writing trials, the Lord urged me to persevere. I now have a guide to freedom which I can share with others.
I’m so thankful for the keys which unlocked true identity and purpose for my life. And for the lives of sister warriors I continue to meet on this divine adventure.
If you feel stuck in a life without worth or purpose, trapped by shame and discouragement, allow the lines of my life message to pull you toward freedom. Perhaps you and I will fight the darkness oppressing women together.
Feel free to join me on the Beautiful Warrior Facebook page for discussion, videos, announcements, and more. I’d also love to open my website doors to you at tinayeager.com, where you can access chapter videos, speaking or coaching services, and my Flourish-Meant podcast.
Allow me to extend a heartfelt welcome to those yearning for renewal and life-boosting into our summer virtual conferences. Step into our virtual spa event at Contact Tina Yeager. I hope to have a chance to connect with you in one of our virtual spaces soon, sister warrior.
About Tina Yeager
Award-winning author, speaker, licensed counselor, and life coach, Tina hosts the Flourish-Meant podcast and publishes Inkspirations Online, a devotional for writers.
Yeager also serves on the Christian Authors Network board, as a mentor with Word Weavers International, and as an active member of AWSA.
Come visit her for a virtual cup of java online at tinayeager.com. Beautiful Warrior: Finding Victory over the Lies Formed Against You helps women identify and fulfill their potential as they discover Christ-centered significance.
Connect with Tina Yeager: Website / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / LinkedIn / Pinterest
In conjunction with this post and the podcast interview, Hope for Overcoming Shame and Discouragement – Episode 116, Tina Yeager is giving away a free copy of her book, Hope for Overcoming Shame and Discouragement – Episode 116.
Leave a comment below sharing with us one thing you’ve learned about suffering in silence with shame and discouragement and you will be entered into the contest for your chance to win a copy of her book.
You could also share this blog post on Facebook or Twitter then comment here to tell us where you shared it and you’ll also be entered into the drawing.
The winner will be selected at random and announced next Monday, July 12, 2021. Continental United States only.
I have learned that I am not alone and Tina’s message is so encouraging. I loved the podcast last week and so appreciated her insights and encouragement about identity and how to heal from shame and discouragement. I didn’t have an eating disorder growing up but was always a little heavy and that has continued pretty much through my life but I have learned who I am in Christ and that helps my perspective. Thanks Tina and Dr. Michelle for both sharing your life lessons and your heart with us. I shared this blog on FB and would love to have your book.
Karen, I’m so glad you were encouraged by Tina’s wisdom and encouragement. Thanks for sharing here.
I’ve lived in a secret dungeon for years, but never really thought of it using those words until reading this. Christ has ALWAYS been my hope and truth. But I still wonder why I have one chain attached…
Debi, I think shame and discouragement are issues we all deal with. Thankfully there’s hope!
Debi, please don’t give up on complete freedom in Christ. Healing is a journey and the process moves along in steps. Continue seeking the Lord and reach out to healthy Christian mentors for support.
I have been no stranger to discouragement and disappointment but alongside me was faith. Faith to believe that something better will show up. Faith that is tied to hope and filled with love from the Lord knowing that he truly wants to give us his best. Just in the last day or two he brought yet another reminder in these beautiful words from Isaiah. “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.” Is. 61:7
Laurie, that double portion is certainly something to look forward to!
I’m so inspired by your faith. May the Lord continue to shower you with gifts of hope and encouragement! I’ve been praying for you, Laurie!
You are the winner of the book giveaway! Be on the lookout for an email with more information. 🙂
I have been married for over 20 years to a non-believer. I hoped he would be open to receive the Lord and married him despite some well-intentioned advice. To date, he is firm in denying the Lord and saying I love Jesus more than him. I feel the shame and discouragement that comes when I cannot share with him what’s important to me and how my life is changed by trusting in the Lord. He feels he doesn’t need a “crutch.” I’ve continued to thrive in a local church and enjoy the fellowship but cannot fully participate because my husband feels I abandon him on Sundays and he feels I’m pushing him away. I am at the point of leaving as he is very controlling about where I go and who I see. Pray I would be able to find God’s wisdom and direction. Also my health has been impacted with IBS which is stress related. It’s a visible sign of how much I’ve stuffed my feelings inside and my body is speaking loudly.
Thanks for your article and pray I would be strong and speak up for the Lord to find peace and contentment.
I can only imagine how difficult your situation is. I’m so grateful that when we pray for wisdom, God promises to lavish it upon us. Keep seeking Him.
Father, I pray for this one who feels the shame and discouragement of a road long and hard travelled. You know what is best for her, so I ask for wisdom as she looks at her future. Give her peace. Be her husband and her provider and her comforter. In Jesus’s name, Amen
I’m sorry you’ve suffered through this challenging spiritual battle for so many years. Shame doesn’t come from the Lord, of course. And the enemy uses those unwitting souls who don’t know Christ to speak shame lies into the ears of believers. May the Lord protect and strengthen you on this difficult journey of praying for your husband. Know that you can participate in anything to which the Lord calls you. Keep close to the Holy Spirit so you can discern his voice and believe him over the enemy.
I think one reason we suffer in silence is because of the stigma attached to these feelings. We are Christians and we aren’t supposed to feel this way. But we know at some time everyone does. When we face these lies, we are then able to defeat them. Thank you for your transparency in sharing your path to victory over something we all experience.
Barbara, you make a very good point here. We also have to remember that we have an enemy who accuses us day and night. He loves to tempt us into sinning and then shame us when we do. I’m so grateful for God’s mercy and grace.
I so agree with you, Barbara! Blessings to you!
One thing I have learned is that though we think we are alone, or the only one, when we start sharing, people step forward and say, “Me, too.” Satan wants us to live in shame and discouragement and feel alone. God wants to pull us from shame and discouragement and give us a new identity.
So true, Theresa! We have strength from Christ and he often girds us through our fellowship with believers!
So important to realize we are not alone. The enemy would want us to believe we are the only ones struggling or discouraged. When we speak up, we find encouragement from others who come alongside of us and help us to step forward.
We are never alone. The enemy seeks to keep us discouraged and isolated with this lie. When we reach out to others, we find encouragement and strength to move forward.
So like a “prowling lion,” the enemy preys upon the isolated and wounded. Authenticity and mutual support in our prayerful fellowship with other believers offer us strength and protection.
I believe a huge part of shame and discouragement comes from guilt. Guilt comes from sin and from a misunderstanding of the fullness of our Savior’s death on the cross. We much PREACH the truth to ourselves daily, HOURLY, to combat this. True repentance from our sin equals complete freedom- THAT is truth. So then we need to remind our emotions and also remind our slipping minds- of the TRUTH. Keeping memory verses handy is a big help to me.
Cathy I am doing a study by Ruth Chou Simons called Truthfilled. Have you seen it or done it? It speaks to this same issue of needing to continually preach the gospel to ourselves and also to remind ourselves of who we are in Christ. The second part of remembering who God sees in us when we walk in the spirit is the one I have to preach to myself over and over. The book also speaks of preaching to ourselves in all seasons of life.
I’m on the same page with you, Cathy! 2 Corinthians 7:10 speaks to this: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”