In part 1 of “Practical Grace–How to Not Be a Friend to Someone With Cancer,” I shared my observations from a recent cancer treatment appointment and what I observed there with regard to people’s typical reactions to a friend with cancer. In that post, I shared how each of these responses correlated to the responses in the book of Job by his friends toward him when he experienced major tragedy. In part 2, of “Practical Grace—What Not to Say to Someone with Cancer” I’m sharing what isn’t helpful when a friend or loved one receives a cancer diagnosis. In part 3, we’ll consider what IS helpful to say when someone has cancer.
Read more for 5 Things Your Friend with Cancer Doesn’t Need for You to Say.
Have you ever wondered what to say or what not to say to someone with cancer? In the three-part Practical Grace series, I’m going to share with you what I’ve learned through my experience as a caregiver for someone with cancer, and through my own personal battle.
No one likes nor wants a diagnosis of cancer. Just the word makes us uncomfortable. Worse, many are uncomfortable around those who have been given the diagnosis. You know people with this diagnosis right now.
In part one, I share how to not be a friend to someone with cancer using actual examples of conversations I’ve witnessed or been a part of.
This article is a continuation of a post made o Facebook in January that clearly demonstrated the need for further discussion.
Nobody wants to be the poster child for depression. But now that I have gone through that and am on the other side, I’m thankful for my experience. Truly thankful.
As a doctor, as a neuropsychologist, I was always filled with a lot of compassion and empathy for my patients. Now that I have journeyed through the dark night of my soul myself, I have even more compassion for others. Even more empathy. I can step into that place and say, “Me too.”
I really do get it. I really do understand. Now I have a much better appreciation for so many in the Bible who suffered. Not that my suffering was as great or as prolonged as theirs, but to read the stories of Jonah, and Elijah, and Job, and David. I have a better appreciation for what they went through.
Even in hard times, you can rejoice. How do you rejoice when times are hard? And, why is it good to do so?
When someone you care about has been diagnosed with cancer, it’s natural to want to jump in and help. When my husband was diagnosed with cancer multiple times, and most recently, when I received a diagnosis, people wanted to know what they could do to help. Even as I walked through it, I had other friends who were also walking a similar road and my husband and I desired to help.
Jesus gave us the commandment, “…Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:34-35). You may be wondering how to support someone with cancer or how to show love to a friend who is going through a difficult trial, like treatment for cancer?
Experience has a way of teaching us some of life’s most valuable lessons, while pain and heartache add the exclamation point for emphasis. This past year certainly held some highlights for me: going on tour with Redemption Press to the Women of Joy conferences, signing a new book contract and writing the book, and winning the Christian Literary Readers Choice Award for “The Hope Prevails Bible Study”.
Conversely, while those were highlights of the year, this year also held several low points: a son’s boating accident and subsequent surgery, changing career direction, and receiving a cancer diagnosis for starters.