Everything inside me was on hyper-alert as I sat in the hospital’s surgical waiting room. When someone stood to get a cup of coffee, my gaze reflexively followed them. When someone signed in or out at the waiting room desk, my head jerked up. When a name was called over the speaker, my mind did a double take to ensure it wasn’t mine. And every time a surgeon walked through the doors to confer with a family member, I started to rise, even though I knew it would still be hours before I would hear a word. [more]
Dear Dr. B,
I have struggled to get on with my life. Things I’ve done in my past keep me from enjoying the present. It’s so hard to forgive myself because I hate what I did and how I behaved. I feel guilty and undeserving of my life today, which is not at all like my past life. I continue to carry the shame from decades ago and just can’t move on. Can you help?
Unable to Forgive Myself
The alarm didn’t go off that morning, so I awoke in a panic. I didn’t even have time to take my temperature but was pretty sure I was running a fever to match my flu-like symptoms as I dragged myself into the office. My head pounded, and my throat screamed for relief with every swallow I took. It promised to be a long day. As I dashed to the car later than I would have liked, I was greeted by the little warning light that no one likes to see on a morning they are pressed for time…EMPTY. Seems whoever was the last to drive my car left it for me to refuel, on a day I didn’t really have time to refuel, and I couldn’t afford not to. [more]
Do you suffer like Martha from excessive busyness? Do you need to break from busy life? Today, you have the choice to go it alone or surrender it to God. What will you choose to combat busy?
Sand in my toes, water lapping up on my feet, watching the sun either descend below the horizon or arise to announce the break of a brand new day…that’s where I feel most at peace, where my heart stills and I most easily hear my Father’s voice.
And then it’s time to leave. Time to get back to real life. Busy life. Life where one pressure or another tugs in multiple directions until we feel frayed at the edges.
At communion, Dr. Bengtson reflects on how the shed blood of Jesus impacts her heart now and from her childhood. #Jesus