Sand in my toes, water lapping up on my feet, watching the sun either descend below the horizon or arise to announce the break of a brand new day…that’s where I feel most at peace, where my heart stills and I most easily hear my Father’s voice.
And then it’s time to leave. Time to get back to real life. Busy life. Life where one pressure or another tugs in multiple directions until we feel frayed at the edges.
Family.
Children.
Work.
School.
And can I be so bold to even say ministry?
Busy has become lauded almost like a status symbol. The busier we are, the more it’s applauded, recognized, and congratulated.
And rest gets delegated to being a four letter word.
If the enemy can’t keep us from a relationship with the Lord, he will seek to distract us with busyness. In walking, or running, down the track of busyness we lose the peace found in the security of His presence.
For a period of several years, I got into an unhealthy pattern of busy. My husband had been diagnosed with cancer and unable to work. My go-to defense mechanism was much like that of Martha: I jumped in and got busy. I did more, I picked up the slack, and I worked harder. I got to the point that for several years I worked 100 hours a week. I’d work until midnight at the office, run home, take a shower, lie down for what was essentially a nap, get up and be back at the office by 3 or 4 in the morning.
In all my Martha ways, I lost my Mary peace.
“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)
When I get into my Martha-busy, I take on the traits I don’t like to see. When I look back on the familiar passage, several things jump out at me. First of all, Martha was not necessarily involved in activities she shouldn’t have been—she opened her home to Jesus. No one would have ever told her she was taking on too much by doing that. No one faulted Martha for the work that needed to get done. (“Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.”) The problem wasn’t that there were tasks that she needed to do, but rather, she let those tasks distract her from the presence of Jesus in her midst (“Martha was distracted…”). How many times in the busyness of my life have I let my responsibilities and obligations rob me of my peace and joy because I took my eyes off Him? Instead,
“I keep the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved” (Psalm 16:8).
The second problem with Martha’s excessive busyness was that it took her down a path to self-pity (“Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?). The more she worked while her sister stayed at Jesus’ feet listening to all He said, the more Martha exchanged her free and joyful yes to serving Him with gladness for self-pity, and worry. I’ve been there more times than I care to admit: freely doing what needed to be done and serving with gladness, but then ultimately complaining and becoming bitter about what I perceived to be an unfair distribution of responsibility. Scripture suggests instead
“Do all things without complaining and arguing” (Philippians 2:14)
and that we should
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
The third problem with Martha’s excessive busyness was that she exchanged her willful service to the Lord for vengeance toward her sister for not sharing in the burden (“Tell her to help me!”) So often, when we are carrying a burden we are not meant to carry, we look to others to help us carry it to help assuage our guilt, shoulder the responsibility, and be the target of our frustration. Instead, Jesus suggests a different way:
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29-30)
The answer for Martha was offered to her, just as it is to me and you every day. While there are some tasks that must be done each day, the frenzied frantic pace cannot be allowed to rule our day, steal our peace, and destroy our contentment. While I am quickly transported to peace and tranquility every time I am fortunate enough to find myself at the beach, my peace and contentment are not dependent on my surroundings. They are dependent on who I am surrounded by. Jesus told Martha that only one thing was needed, Mary had figured out what that was, and, as a result, it would not be taken from her.
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Sometimes we don’t get a choice about what we do or what responsibilities get thrust our way. Sometimes life dumps circumstances that create an unwanted level of busy. But we do always have the choice of whether or not to shoulder it alone, or to surrender it to God and ask for His guidance, strength, and wisdom to make it through. We always have the choice of whether to be Mary and go to Him first, or to be Martha and scurry around in a cyclone of activity, worry, and pity.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).
What will you do to combat busy?
A book that discusses navigating the journey from a busy life to one of calm is Alli Worthington’s book “Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace & Purpose in a World of Crazy.” In a day and age where we are lauded for over-scheduled calendars, and almost prized for lack of margin in the day to day as if that somehow equates with status, and social media likes, comments, and shares seems to somehow measure our worth, we seem to have forgotten that in Scripture, we never find Jesus rushing anywhere, checking the time, or measuring the size of his platform.
In Breaking Busy, Alli Worthington takes the reader on a pursuit to move from “crazy busy to confident calm” in the endeavor to find one’s God-given purpose. She explores the necessity of saying no to lesser important things in order to make more margin for the things we really desire to say yes to, as well as the importance of stopping chasing the things that leave us empty in favor of doing those things we were really created to do which fuel our soul.
Worthington looks at several areas that often breed a world of busy (including relationships, striving, options, worry, expectations, overwhelm, choices, and noise) and discusses that which is preferable to seek after in our pursuit to “break busy.” “Breaking Busy” is a must read for anyone wanting to “find peace and purpose in a world of crazy.” (I have been compensated by Zondervan for my honest review of Breaking Busy.)
Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
(If you have a question you’d like Dr. B to answer, contact her here now. Your name and identity will be kept confidential.)
A short brief about Hope Prevails.
Hope Prevails
Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey through Depression
Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Speaking from personal and professional experience, a neuropsychologist unpacks what depression is, shows how it affects us spiritually, and offers hope for living the abundant life.
Neuropsychologist Offers Hope to Those Struggling with Depression
-By 2020, depression will be our greatest epidemic worldwide
- An estimated 350 million people worldwide suffer from some form of depression
- As with the bestselling My Stroke of Insight, the author experienced the same condition she treats
- Helpful features include personal stories, biblical truths, prayers, and music recommendations
In Hope Prevails, Dr. Bengtson writes with deep compassion and empathy, blending her extensive training and faith, to offer readers a hope that is grounded in God’s love and grace. She helps readers understand what depression is, how it affects them spiritually, and what, by God’s grace, it cannot do. The result is a treatment plan that addresses the whole person—not just chemical imbalances in the brain.
For those who struggle with depression and those that want to help them, Hope Prevails offers real hope for the future.
Hope Prevails is available now wherever books are sold. To find out more, see: https://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/.
Pity parties are no fun. I’ve hosted a few in my day!!!
No fun, not productive, and no one wants to attend. Much better to keep our eyes on Him. Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
What a good word and a great sounding book, Michelle!
I was there this past weekend. I had overdone it so much that nothing was fun anymore. And, you are so right, when we get too busy, we lose the peace, the joy, and the contentment.
Thanks for the great reminder to slow down and rest!
Grateful for you and your ministry~
Melanie
Melanie, I think as women and mothers and wives, it’s so easy for us to get there. That’s when we have to step back and sit at His feet. He came to take that burden from us and to give us the abundant life, His joy, and peace that passes all understanding. Let’s encourage each other to sit at His feet and rest. Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
I needed to read this today. I’m in the middle of a busy season, and I find that the first thing to go is my time with Jesus. And then….it just spirals into a cyclone of disaster. As much as I dislike admitting this, it’s the truth. God used this post to open my eyes to what I have allowed.
Thank you so much for posting this.
~Haley
Haley, I’m glad this was what you needed to read today. Isn’t God gracious to do that for us? Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Hmmm. Second review of this book I’ve read today. Wonder if God’s trying to tell me something! 🙂
You never know, do you Carol? It’s definitely worth your time to read it. In today’s society, I think we’re all a little too busy. But, Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Oh, yes – barren busyness has derailed me a time or two. Shouldering it alone is certainly not easy, and as you’ve shared it’s not necessary either when we have such a gracious God. Thanks for your insight and direction today, Dr. Michelle. Visiting from the Unite link up today. 🙂
Tiffany,
Whether we are going it alone, have a spouse, or having a whole support team, He never puts more on us that He gives us the resources to handle. His yolk is easy. Its we who make it hard. So hard to remember that. But Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Getting Martha-busy is my coping mechanism too. I have learned to let go and let God. But it was hard and God needed to break me, a lot, on the way.
Joanna, I think sometimes Martha and I are sisters, or maybe best friends, or maybe she was my mother. Either way, she and I are very intimately acquainted and I fall back into Martha-busy way too easy. I can find every reason to justify it too. And then I re-read Jesus’s gentle words: “Only one thing is needed, and it will not be taken from her.” That helps to bring me back to center. I’m so glad he is gentle in His ways–without shame or condemnation. When I sense that, I know it’s the accuser. Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Welcome to #SmallWonder, Michelle. I have a soft spot in my heart for Martha and I love her for the way she dares “boss” Jesus around and the way Jesus is so calm and steady with her – the very story welcomes me into the graceful presence of Christ. Thanks for sharing!
I have a Mary heart but a built-in Martha personality…both struggle for equal expression. I love how scripture says that Martha was doing what she “had to do.” It wasn’t that she was wrong for doing those things, but rather it was her stressing and worrying that got her in trouble. Good for me to remember to keep that in perspective! Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
{{ouch}} Your words hit home, dear Dr. Michelle. I have always been intrigued by Mary and Martha – they were both so different yet both so beautiful. Martha was a woman that always got things done which is admirable, but when it came to simply sitting at the feet of Jesus she lost sight of that importance. What an important reminder!
Thank you for sharing with Roses of Inspiration. Have a blessed weekend.
Sweet Stephanie, how I’ve missed you! Glad to see you here! I love that there was a place for both Mary and Martha, just no place for stress and worry. I can be productive and task-oriented, but my priorities need to be in place, and my first thing needs to stay first: spending time in His presence. So thankful that He desires that from me. It’s a gift–not a reprimand. Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
I agree with your points. I wish I could say I’m more of a Mary, but as a mom with 3 kiddos I’m afraid that I tend much more toward Martha. I think one of the main differences in Mary and Martha is the state of their hearts. The Lord doesn’t necessarily want us to sit still but he wants our hearts to rest in Him even if our hands are busy. Thanks for the encouragement to check my heart!
Dr. Michelle….thank you for sharing this wisdom, today. “In all my Martha ways, I lost my Mary peace.” Amen. Oh, how I lose my peace in the shuffle of to-do lists on my desk. Part of my lesson in obedience this year is learning to be patience and rest in the process of growth. There al all kids of verses from this post that will help me instill some mentally healthy behavior. God Bless, from the Missional link-up.
Happy Friday!
Megs