We’ve trained them up in the way they should go. But, as parents, we feel it when our children stumble and make a painful decision. What happens when they make choices you might not make or take a path that lacks wisdom? Read more for how to stand on the word, place our children in the Father’s care and trust God with them.
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“Oh Lord, my heart is breaking. I cannot even think about the weight of what is going on in the world right now because of the sinking weight of what has transpired in my own life, in my own family.
How can you do what you perceive to be all the right things and then things go terribly wrong? As a professional, how can I diagnose and treat and help so many others to see the light, but see such pain and heartache in my own children and feel powerless to effect change?
Where have I gone wrong? Have I failed you? How did we get here? Oh, how I wish I could go back and have a do-over, only knowing what I know now.
Yet in the whisper of my mind, I hear, “That’s a lie. You haven’t failed and you aren’t a failure. I have given to each free will, and each will test and try it. But I have promised that when you raise your child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it. Reject those lies and stand on my truth.””
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When you birth a child, a part of your heart is both expanded and leaves you. Your love grows, and yet because of that, when they make choices you might not make or take a path that lacks wisdom, it also means your heart at least quivers, if not breaks. If we could but envelop them in bubble wrap until they are mature and grown, our parental hearts would rest easier.
Train your child in the way he should go
We long for our children to experience the good things in life, even better than we do or did. It hurts to see them fall and make mistakes. We’ve raised them with all the wisdom, understanding, and knowledge we have, and yet they are free to make their own choices. Choices to follow their own desires, or surrender their heart to the ways you have taught, and the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
Developmentally, all children go through a “separation and individuation” process where they try out their own ideas, their own preferences, their own desires. Some will flourish and cause them to grow, others will falter and cause them to fall. As we watch, always hoping for the best, we must trust God. We must trust the heart of The Father, who knows them best and loves them even more than we do. It is His desire that no one would perish…not even one.
As parents, we feel it when our children stumble and make a painful decision. We bear the responsibility for training them up in the way they should go and raising them in the fear of the Lord. Yet they are ultimately accountable to God for their own decisions and the path they choose when they leave our household and become adults.
This becomes an exercise in faith. When we let go, we trust that what we have taught them and the work of the Holy Spirit will be sufficient in time. All we can do is trust at that point that God’s promises are true and that He will continue to work to bring them back to Him.
Trusting God with your child
When we let go, we put our children in the hands of a Father who has His own children who have been rebellious, and whose redemption has cost Him dearly. He knows the pain a parent goes through, and His heart breaks with us. He will do what it takes to draw His children back to Him, even if it means letting them fall flat on their backs, which is often the best position to see Him most clearly.
We must trust God with our children. One thing is for sure, just as we as parents named our children when they were born, and recorded their names on their birth certificate to indicate their significance in this world, God recorded their names in the Lamb’s book of life, and has them tattooed on the palms of His hands (Isaiah 49:16). Just as you can’t stop thinking about them, neither can He. Leave them in His capable, loving care.
Even with our children, because of Him, #HopePrevails!
Even in times of crisis, every day can be a good day when you trust the promises of God.
Today is Going to be a Good Day
Now Available!
My newest book, Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right is now available!
This uplifting devotional helps you make each day a good day no matter what is going on in your life.
When life conspires to drag us down with all of its troubles, it can be hard to keep our spirits up. In times of severe illness and depression, I learned that when I stand on God’s promises, despite my circumstances, every day can be a good day.
Each reading includes Scripture, reflection, prayer, and a recommended playlist song designed to help you live out Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”
For more information on the book visit: Today is Going to be a Good Day Book.
Amen. Yes, trusting our children to God’s care is the only way to receive the peace that God has to offer when we are concerned about our children. 🙂
Oh yes, how we have to remind ourselves that God cares more about our children than we do, and is much more capable of caring for them than we are! It’s a matter of continual surrender!
My 2 oldest have moved out and I have to constantly deliver them over to God’s watchcare… knowing that He can … and has always … taken care of them better than me. Thanks for your post
Karen, aren’t we thankful that He is a good, good Father, loving us and our children perfectly? If we will just get out of the way and surrender them into his perfect care?
Good Morning Michelle 🌞 This was so perfect today and I just feel it was from the Lord . I have a 44 yr old daughter who has bi-polar and she is in such a bad way right now. My heart is just breaking for her and there is absolutely nothing I can do but pray for her. This so touched my heart today – Thank You, Michelle for what you are doing and Thank You Lord for loving our children even more than we do!! She is in your hands Lord!! 🙏
I am ordering your book today!! ❤️
Really needed to read this, Michelle! Thank you! I’m having daily agonies with my daughter. Actually, all three of them are wandering to various degrees, and they’re still at home, so I see it close up. Thankfully, they’re not into anything super destructive or dangerous. But they don’t seem to be taking their faith seriously at all. And my daughter seems bent on negativity and self-absorption. It’s very painful when they don’t want any input at all from me. I know it’s developmental, but it’s especially challenging without a dad to back me up. Hard times, emotionally, for sure! Thank you for the reminder to trust God. My son has come a long way, and his depression seems behind him, so I’m very thankful for that.
I’m praying for your family during this difficult time, and for your husband’s full recovery. God bless you!
Thank you for this! Honest and truthful and helpful. The biggest area I have a trouble handing over to God…is my children. You hit the nail on the head. Thank you….
for years I have struggled with worry for my children, so many people told me to leave them in God’s hands. Some bad things have happened to my kids right now I’m just waiting for God to deliver them completely
Boy, I really needed this this morning! I was just praying for one of my daughters and pouring out my heart to God about my worries and concerns. Thank you for the affirmation that I’m doing the right thing and the reminder that I am NOT God and that he loves her even more than I do!
Thank you for these words. A theme that has been running through my life this past year has been letting go. Over and over I have faced situations where I have had to let go. Both of my sons got married in the last year and letting go took on a whole new meaning. It is not the same as sending them off to college. Entrusting our kids to God is the prayer that we need to pray and hold onto daily. God’s got this and His truth is all we need.
There’s nothing like being a parent to grow my faith. (big sigh) – trusting God daily for their welfare and decision making. thank you for your true words and encouragement!
There’s nothing harder than seeing your child in pain of any kind… unless it’s seeing your grandchild that way, too. Oh, how many times I’ve had to just give my children and grandchildren to God for one reason or another. All I can do is entrust them to His love and care, as you say. And continue in the hope that they will not depart from His ways. Thank you for your post today. Sending up prayers for you and yours. (Visiting via Barbie’s #glimpsesofhisbeauty link-up.)
Such a wise and precious message of encouragement. We did raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and watched them leave, one to the military and one to marriage. Both have been challenged beyond belief and some decision were great and some they made were not but we have also watched (and Father told us) them being drawn to God’s throne. They have their own families and are experiencing the heartbreak, like we did with them, of their children making wise and sometimes unwise decisions. Now they understand our heart. I love this message for I am trusting them, my grandchildren and my great grands in Father’s hands. He does love them even more than I do. Thank you for your message borne out of your own life and family. You do understand my heart and speak gently yet boldly to us with much love and compassion.
One of my biggest areas of struggle. Thank you, friend.