Alone as the tears streamed down my cheeks, I wondered if anyone understood my pain. Would anyone care?
I longed to feel the comfort of a touch. To know I was not alone. To believe that despite my faults and my circumstances, I was worthy of being loved.
I’ve often explained to patients and their families, no matter what our circumstances, we all want the same thing: to be loved, to know we aren’t alone, and to be found worthy.
Sometimes I knew these things with much greater assurance, but on this particular day, my soul was gaping from the emotional wounds of the week.
Have you ever been there? You just needed one person to care?
One person to understand?
One person to say, “Me too!”?
As I lay my head on my tear-stained pillow, I ached for just one to care, to understand, to remind me that I would get through this just as I had the other painful events in my life.
My husband was out of town and not quick to answer his cell phone. I had called a good friend, but hung up when I got to voicemail, hoping I’d feel better before she’d have time to return my call. Another friend was too overwhelmed with her own struggles for me to feel free to add to her worry. And it wasn’t the kind of thing to air on social media, although everyone seems to love a little drama there.
In the darkness of the room, I did the only thing I could think of. I whispered His sweet name, “Jesus.” I didn’t need to give Him a litany of all the reasons my heart felt heavy – He had been there. He saw it all. He knew.
I needed only to give Him the pain my brokenness wielded at every turn and trust Him.
I needed to take hold of the lies that had screamed at my heart until I could hear nothing else, and exchange them for His truth.
When the enemy wanted me to believe no one understood my pain, God affirmed that He is well-acquainted with our sorrow: “He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain” (Isaiah 53:3).
When I was tempted to think nothing and no one could comfort me in my sorrow, I instead had to choose to believe truth which was that I serve a God of all comfort. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
As my eyes swelled from the steady stream of tears, and I was tempted to believe that I was alone in my pain, I had to choose instead to exchange that lie for God’s truth. He promises to never leave me. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6).
And when the lies screamed that there were many things that would make me unworthy of love, I had to choose to remember that Jesus and His death on the cross made me worthy of God’s love. “God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ” (John 1:17 NLT).
In those dark quiet moments of wrestling to fight back the lies and remember His truth, nothing in my circumstances changed. My pain still throbbed with the beat of my heart. But I was no longer alone in the fight.
God’s word is our greatest weapon in battle. “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword” (Hebrews 4:12 NIV). It changes people, hearts, and the environment when it goes in and when it comes out.
And God promises that His word will have an impact-it will not return void! “so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11 NIV).
We can fight the doubts and unbelief, the fears and the pain when we return to the truth. The truth is that we are more than overcomers and when our one source of support is Him, we’re on a winning team! “we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).
During the difficult and painful times of life, it only takes one coming along side us to give us hope. Will you let Jesus be your one?
(If you have a question you’d like Dr. B to answer, contact her here now. Your name and identity will be kept confidential.)
A short brief about Hope Prevails.
Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey through Depression
Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Speaking from personal and professional experience, a neuropsychologist unpacks what depression is, shows how it affects us spiritually, and offers hope for living the abundant life.
Neuropsychologist Offers Hope to Those Struggling with Depression
-By 2020, depression will be our greatest epidemic worldwide
- An estimated 350 million people worldwide suffer from some form of depression
- As with the bestselling My Stroke of Insight, the author experienced the same condition she treats
- Helpful features include personal stories, biblical truths, prayers, and music recommendations
In Hope Prevails, Dr. Bengtson writes with deep compassion and empathy, blending her extensive training and faith, to offer readers a hope that is grounded in God’s love and grace. She helps readers understand what depression is, how it affects them spiritually, and what, by God’s grace, it cannot do. The result is a treatment plan that addresses the whole person—not just chemical imbalances in the brain.
For those who struggle with depression and those that want to help them, Hope Prevails offers real hope for the future.
Hope Prevails is available now wherever books are sold. To find out more, see: http://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/.