In the depths of depression, it can feel so very lonely. Like no-one cares, no-one understands. And at times, not even God. I have been there. In some of my darkest days I cried out to him through my tears, God, I know you say in your word that you will never leave us or forsake us, and I want to believe that, I do, but where are you now? I hurt so bad, physically and emotionally. I feel so alone. If you are really there, why can’t I feel you?
I thought I was doing all the right things. I was having my morning devotions, and reading his word. I was even writing out the scripture for the day. But time has a way of giving perspective.
You see, I am an achiever by nature. A do-er. I have a very driven personality. Yes, I was having my morning devotions, but truthfully, I was not really having much of a quiet time, per se. My surroundings were quiet, but my heart and mind were not.
Even as I was reading my devotion or the scripture for the day, my mind had a tendency to jump ahead to my schedule or plans or problems of the day. And if time was running short and I needed to be heading off to work, I would cut short my time in prayer. Or if I had prayer time, the time that I cut short was the quiet time listening to God.
As He always is, God was gentle in His correction as He helped me to see the error in my thinking. He had not left me, but my attention was not where it needed to be in order to receive the gift of the comfort of His presence. He tenderly showed me this one morning in a devotion as I re-read a familiar story about another woman who had difficulty setting aside her to-do list to just soak in His presence:
“She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’ ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’” (Luke 10:39-42)
The Lord showed me that it can be very lonely when we are too busy to take time to rest in His presence and listen to Him. Friend, His word IS true. He promises He won’t ever leave us, but He won’t force us to stay in His presence.
For many, the holidays are a very lonely time. We can even feel lonely when we are surrounded by people. Are you feeling lonely today? We have a God who is only but a whisper away. He longs for you to come into His presence. How will you answer?
Thank you for this beautiful reminder. I have fallen into this trap more times than I want to admit. Susie
We all do Susie. Thankfully God’s grace gives us a “do-over” and a chance to re-connect to him. He’s our ever constant source of hope. Hope Prevails!